Before I forget to remember

As an English teacher and resident of Korea, one sees and hears amusing things pretty much daily. Here's some recent highlights:

Adult student asking what the difference is between 'sheet' and 'sheet' – you know, s-h-e-e-t and s-h-i-t.

Middle school student asking why 'motherfather' is a swear word.

Respectable middle-aged lady wearing a t-shirt that said “I love my hooker”.

Adult student explaining that she thinks drizzle is 'so romantic'. I guess rain has different meanings for different people.

My Korean tutor asking in a text message for my “girl (couple) friend's phone number”.

Two elementary students hiding in a balcony outside the classroom. They climbed through a gap about 8 inches wide to do so. Healthy and Safety?....in Korea? Hmmmm...

And an excellent story from another elementary student. The task was to write about a pirate who loves to knit, but she made it so much more creative than that:

In a ocean there is one ship. The ship, it is pirate ship. But there are very quiet. That time flow out beautiful song in pirate ship. We are surprize and go to nearby the ship. We are suprize one more time! because pirate knit sit on the chair. They see we, they're stand up and say “Welcome to pirate ship!” They bring some food and some drink. One pirate come to me and whisper “Help me please. Chief very love knit, so we're knit too. You convince my chief.”

We're going to the chief room. In room chief knit very beautiful cloth. We say “Why do you love knit?” he answer “It's beautiful” and “It make my hand doesn't steal the other person's thing.” We agree his answer and come out his room. We tell chief's mind. They're agree too so we're leave pirate ship.