Delicious Baby

Like most hagwons with kindergarten programs, we get free lunch at my school. Initially, it seemed like a major – and money-saving - perk, but has became a source of much irritation to both me and my co-workers. Last year, I was hardly adventurous with Korean food, and I would not have expected to find much to like about eating Korean food every day. But after a somewhat successful New Year's Resolution, this year has included a much wider range of Korean dishes – and a lot less boredom with my diet.

Yet, free lunch is still a problem. The soups almost always taste like dishwater and they serve fish with all the bones and fins and eyes. I know most Koreans aren't vegetarian – and I decided early on that I would continue to eat the lunch when I stopped eating meat – but this food is seriously poor quality. And they serve the same stuff to the kids. Yuck.

So what's a girl to do? Oh, don't worry, because you can go eat at Delicious Baby. I have no idea what this restaurant is actually called, but it's around the corner from my school and I will take you if you're in the neighborhood. It's teeny tiny and is pretty much a Health and Safety Inspector's nightmare, but don't let that put you off. The menu is standard kimbap shop fayre, but they make everything fresh (including the dongkass!) And they don't have any problem making changes to suit your weird egg-pickiness or meatlessness. The mom does all the cooking – and has a sixth sense about how you like your food - while her husband makes the kimbaps. That's right: a Man Making Kimbap. Delicious kimbap. I suspect he mixes happy drugs in with the rice.

Then there are the two older sons, who handle the delivery/clean-up stuff. The older one is your classic respectful young Korean guy – he once bowed to me from his scooter - and I've yet to see the younger one without a smile. No matter how much I mangle my Korean when ordering, or how many fussy requests I make, that kid is always smiling and making sure the message gets to his mom. Then, of course, there's the baby. He's only 18 months old (pretty sure he was a surprise) and looks like a tiny grandpa. His job is wandering around amongst all the food and fire and sharp objects. When he's tired, he sleeps on one of the benches or gets strapped to his mom or dad's back. (This does not, of course, prevent the dad from making deliveries on the scooter...safety first!)

When we first started going, he did what all Korean babies do when faced with foreigners: slack-jawed gaping. The whole family would try to get him to talk, but he just kept on staring. Gradually he figured out other ways to get our attention, like bouncing up and down, banging spoons, or waving rice around. Then one day he just started coming over to see us, and today he had a very entertaining time with my bike helmet. At first, he looked like he stepped on it by accident, but then it became clear that putting his feet in the helmet was the game. After I put it on his head he walked over to his parents with the helmet on backwards, then hanging off his face, before he figured out a way that he could wear it and see at the same time.

It might seem ridiculous to write so much about one little restaurant and the family that runs it, but you don't know how Delicious that Baby's food is. And there's nothing like good food for making you feel at home in a faraway land.

Cuteness

Co-teachers come in all shapes and attitudes: helpful, mean, indispensible, uncooperative and adorable being just a few options. I didn't really have a co-teacher last year as we always taught separate classes from the Korean teachers, and only really needed to work together to deal with problem students. This year, I have the monster, and his tantrums have created a bond between me and my fabulous co-teacher.

She'd never taught before, and her English isn't the best (I was slightly terrified during the first class when she had to look up almost every word to translate all the screaming.) But we made a good team from the start, and she is an invaluable source of information from the monster's family. Oh, and I haven't had to prepare an art class in two months now thanks to her efforts. Most importantly, her Starbucks study sessions, and being around English all day have paid off so we can have 3 minute chats during our stairwell time-outs with the monster.

I think my favorite thing about our chats is that she obviously thinks of things to say beforehand, and practices how to say them properly. She'd never had a foreigner friend before, or traveled outside Korea, so lots of things I say are pretty surprising, which makes me feel special and unique. And she pretty much smiles 59 minutes out of 60. Anyway, here are some quotes:

'I think you are look like Princess Diana.'

'Oh thanks, but it's just the hair.'

'No really, I think so.'

'Well thank you.'

'I'm wondering again, why don't you have a boyfriend?'

'Hmmm...where to begin...'

'You can eat the tomatoes. He won't eat them.'

'Oh why?'

'Because he is little scared. They are very surprise.'

'Oh ok. Because they burst open?'

'Yes. Also, how do you say - tiny tomato? little tomato? baby tomato?'

'Ah, cherry tomato.'

'Maybe this language is so strange and funny, but, are you pretty to foreigners?'

'Um what?'

'Well, I see many foreigners at the beach, and I think they are not pretty, but I think you are pretty, so...'

uncontrollable laughter 'I think most of the foreigners here are pretty actually. And, um, I hope my friends think that I am...'

'Your dress is very become to you.'

'Urinate. Pee. Which one is correct?'

And my favorite note, perhaps of all time. I asked her to call a Korean phone number to check that I had completed everything to book a walk across the Gwangalli bridge. When I asked her how it went, she got all shy and fluttery, and asked me to wait until she'd written it down.

'They'll send the material to need the day by delivery service.

So, it doesn't need anything

You have only to bring it. ^-^

*This grammar is wrong, so You're not able to understand ㅜ-ㅜ

Do you understand~? If you don't understand.

ask me again'

Ups and Downs

Last weekend was full of 'em. On balance, I'd say the ups have it, but that doesn't make those downs much easier to take when they come around.

It started so well - I left work on Friday totally exhausted, and went to grab a bite at the new kimbap place around the corner. Dinner was quick and delicious, and after dithering about whether to walk home or take the subway, I found a 50,000won note on the ground. Score. I decided karma really wanted me to walk home, and to buy some Cass Red on the way.

But then on Saturday, karma apparently had quite different plans for Lacey and I. Plans that involved trekking all over the place, but failing to complete any errands. The bank was shut (Turns out it is NEVER open outside my working hours. That's smart.), the outdoors shop IN NAMPO-DONG was in the process of moving to a new location, and the hairdresser was already booked up for the afternoon. Just one of those mornings you try to chalk up as 'character-building' while internally wishing your character would just bugger off already.

Thank goodness we managed to get to Dalmaji to see 'As You Like It' in the sunshine. For free! With snacks! And wine! After the play finished, we strolled down the hill to Haeundae beach. What with it being the first weekend that the beach was officially open, and two festivals being held there, there were just a few people dotted about. You know Koreans - they hardly ever congregate in overwhelmingly large numbers. We caught a little bit of the Busan International Dance Festival, which was totally mesmerizing, and decided to come back the next night to see more. Saturday ended happily with a lot of dancing and beer pong in an over-crowded bar on the 14th floor above Haeundae.

In case you thought Saturday morning's trials had earned us some good karma, you would be wrong. Very wrong. After a slow start, we set out to find a 'Korean Natural Food Restaurant'. Having been unable to find opening hours online, the restaurant was of course closed for the afternoon. Undaunted, we booked a table for the evening, and headed to the beach to kill some time in the sun. By the time our reservation time rolled around, we were seated in a cute little room at the restaurant and very hungry for some delicious vegetarian food. Only to find out that you have to book A DAY IN ADVANCE for the vegetarian option. Are you kidding?

Fortune smiled briefly upon us in the form of a vegan buffet restaurant within walking distance. Vegan restaurants always make me feel like I'm in candyland - I can eat everything! Nothing will make me sick! Ever! After the feast, we headed to a bar for a martini and a couple of games of darts. Thinking we still had a couple of hours to go before the dance festival, we took our time getting to Haeundae.

We arrived to find a much larger crowd than Saturday night, and a man spinning on his head on stage. Impressive. The group left the stage, we sat down, and the announcers started wrapping up the evening's events. What. Disappointment was severe. I mean really severe. I mean I didn't even want a beer to ease the pain severe. Bad times.

Thank goodness it was a holiday weekend, and we had Monday to do something fun. I'd read about a small stone temple in Busan, and read that it really isn't very far away, or hard to get to (Lonely Planet advice notwithstanding). Mercifully, our information was good, and the temple was exactly where it should have been, and exactly as impressive as described. And we had makkeolli. I didn't quite believe that our luck had returned, but when we headed to PNU to get some food, we discovered that Maya had re-opened! WOOOOOOOO!

Could this awesome day get any better? Oh yes, yes it could. Because then we walked off all that delicious Indian food on the way to the German brew-pub in Oncheonjang, where we drank delicious beers. That must be enough 'up' for one day right? Oh no, because then we went to spa land to take a delicious bath and enjoy a delicious sit down. I definitely understand the 'sitting around' part of the spa experience better now that I have a smaller apartment: it's for when you don't want to go home, but you do want to be AT home.

After all that, Korea and I are getting along ok again, but I sure wish she'd tone down the drama sometimes.

Poor Monster

Last Monday morning, my co-teacher told me the monster was at the hospital, and would be coming in late. In Korea, a kid going to the hospital doesn't mean much - they go for colds and minor ailments pretty regularly - but a 4-year-old with a fever is a kid I had hoped would be allowed to stay home. No such luck. The doctors found him to be 'not severely sick' and so he was dropped off just before lunchtime, and announced his arrival by crying. Actually, the first sound I heard was a petulant whine that I knew within half a second was his. I've definitely spent too much time with this kid.

After lunch, I politely inquired if our little charge had eaten any of his lunch, and was informed that no, he had not, and indeed he had vomited on the floor. But not to worry - "sometimes he makes himself vomit by crying too much." Lovely. So glad he wasn't 'severely sick'. Honestly, at this point I felt awful for the poor sod. He was obviously OBVIOUSLY a sick little guy and desperate for sleep. Indeed, within a few seconds of me turning around to get his favorite song ready on the computer, he'd fallen asleep at his desk and started drooling on his hand. No fake sleeping this time.

The next day was a holiday, and then on Wednesday he was kept home again. Turns out he had food poisoning. On Thursday he still couldn't really talk (I think he had mouth ulcers) but he'd been bored at home and told his mom he was going to school. He was an angel almost the whole day: he found creative ways to express himself through thumbs-up and thumbs-down, and managed to get through the same amount of worksheets as he usually does.

He's actually been good almost all of this week too. With the exception of that day when he decided he WOULD NOT go to the bathroom, despite showing clear signs of desperation. He held out so long, that he ended up peeing in his pants. I genuinely have no idea what triggered this behavior; he does sometimes 'hold out' on going to the bathroom, but had always given in pretty quickly. Whatever the cause, the embarrassment must have gotten to him because he could not have been nicer that afternoon. And he hasn't refused an offer to go to the bathroom since.

Poison Ivy

The monster is off sick today, so I've had rather more time on my hands than I really know what to do with, so here's some more writing from Ivy, one of Lucy's classmates.

Plants are living things. All living things can feel pain and danger. When we chop trees down, the can feel pain. If you were a tree and someone chopped you down, don't you think you will not scream? Trees scream with their secret voices. Other plants can hear their scream and feel danger. These days, almost everyone make trees into non-living things. That can be okay. Just remember that if you chop trees, it's like you are killing someone. So, let's don't chop trees!

Ivy is basically an ideal student, and her writing is always this good, which is damned impressive for a second-grader who has only studied in Korea. Her mom apparently makes her listen to English-language radio and tapes at home, yet she doesn't seem to resent studying English at all. In fact, she acts like a classroom assistant: answering other students' questions and correcting their grammar and pronunciation. Of course, I stop her from correcting her classmates, but she actually manages to do it without seeming mean or stuck up.

Lately, I've started to realise how lucky I am to be teaching such small groups of highly motivated and able students. I truly appreciate my classes because I imagine there won't be many like this if I teach public school in the US or the UK. So thank you tiny people, you make these long days seem much shorter.

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds

A few weeks ago, there was a festival at Gwangalli Beach. It was called 'Eobang Festival', and was apparently something to do with traditional fishing or something. For us, it was mostly about drinking some beers on the beach, then moving along to somewhere a little more refined: the deck outside of O-Mart. Classay.

One of my more challenging and entertaining students, Lucy, had told me she would miss class that Friday because she was singing, and said she would be singing again on Saturday. She explained that it was singing 'in the street' and would be very hard to find, and expressed concern that I wouldn't understand because 'it is all Korean!' At this point I realised that she would be in the festival parade, and despite all the obstacles, and a fog of beer and sunshine, we managed to get to the right place at the right time. Of course the song had nothing to do with Korea or traditional fishing methods, but who needs an excuse to get cute small people to sing 'Do Re Mi'?

Lucy's front and center in these pictures, and you'll note that she seems less than thrilled to be there. She didn't really 'sing' as such, but she did make a half-assed attempt to follow the choreography. So glad to see that she behaves like this for everyone, not just teachers. I should perhaps point out that Lucy told me in her first week that she hates all English teachers, and as she grew to like me, started greeting me with a variety of kicks and punches, though one day she did hug me and tell me she loves me. Oh and she's a nine-tailed fox. You gotta love a kid with that much character and attitude.






As an epilogue, here are some vocabulary sentences from Lucy's old class.

Jun:
Jen Teacher died in an earthquake.
Jen Teacher is upset because of Jun.
Jen teacher died 7 times because of her experiments.
Jen teacher is a proud mosquito.
Jen teacher was stampeded by a herd of elephants.
Jen teacher has a pet mosquito and her pet bit her.

Ivy:
Lucy went to the banquet with Jun.
Jen teacher wrote an article about Jun and Lucy loving.
Jen teacher was upset because Erik teacher said "We won't marry!"
Neil Armstrong met Jen teacher at the training center and said, "I love you."
Erik teacher, Jun and Lucy stampeded on Jen Teacher.

Lucy:
Jen survived the earthquake.
Jen is a brave person.
Jen is a proud person.
Jen is fond of and kisses mosquitos.
Jen is killing with a flock of birds.

Square One

The monster was an absolute terror today: I lost count of the stairwell time-outs I dragged him to. (We don't do time-out in the classroom because he likes it and will refuse to leave the corner. He just loves corners.) From amusing correction of my pronunciation, he has quickly progressed to refusing to accept that we say 'square' instead of 'scare', or 'A B Cs' instead of the 'RAY B Cs'. (I blame the British English on those videos for the second one - I sure as hell don't have a 'linking-r' in my accent!) This kind of point-blank defiance is funny when aimed at my boss, but mostly because it's so exhausting to deal with it everyday. I definitely reached the end of my tether today, and I've lost the will to summon up a 'nice teacher' for him. We've tried cajoling, and bribing, and distracting, and scolding, and time-outs in 3 different locations. We've tried worksheets and videos and stickers and threats. We've let him cry it out and sulk it out and exhaust himself in the gym. We've taken him for walks around the school like a puppy when he pretends to fall asleep. I've yelled, I've mocked, I've joked, I've begged. I'm all out of patience. I hear that his parents are strict with him, but I don't see any improvement in this child. Other than his English. If any bright sparks out there know how to deal with a child who does not give a crap about punishment, please give me a shout. Because I am fresh out of ideas.

But on the other plus side, I've been cycling to work along the beach. Buddha's birthday is coming up soon, so they've put up tunnels of red and yellow lanterns along the sidewalk and I defy anyone to go through without smiling. It's just so cheery and warm and fluttery! It's hard to stay stressed when your daily commute includes beach-lantern-tunnels.