The Monstrous Monster

Tomorrow, we're taking the kindergarten students, including the monster, to the aquarium for a field trip. Which I'm pretty freaking pumped about because I can't imagine anything better for a St. Paddy's day hangover than 11 tiny people and bajillions of sea creatures.
In case you thought the monster would have become better behaved under the daily influence of my fabulous teaching, um, you would be wrong. This kid is hard core when it comes to getting what he wants. And he takes avoidance of things he doesn't want even more seriously. Sometimes I swear his heels are dug in so far he must be up to his neck (he's teeny so it wouldn't take long.)
Earlier in the week, we had fun pretending that the podium (teachers don't have desks at my school) was his house, but the real fun started I moved it so he couldn't sit inside anymore. That's if you call 30 minutes of crying fun. There were, of course, brief breaks in the sobbing to check that we were still looking at him. It truly was a performance worthy of a Korean drama.
He's also told me, on two separate occasions, that he hates me. I believe a direct translation is 'My teacher is terrible.' And no, he didn't use the polite form of the verb. However, one class later, in the gym, he climbed all over my back so he could put his ear next to my ear. Don't ask why because the Korean teacher was as puzzled by this as I was, but it was obviously very funny for him. Oh, and then he stuck out his tongue and tried to attack us both. But remember, I'm terrible.
UPDATE: So, the hangover wasn't too serious, but guess who hates fish? And, indeed, all sea life? And all teachers? And even the BEACH?? If you guessed the tiny terror, good job. You are genius. Here are some pics of him hating life, and along with a few of children who actually like things.

"Sigh...people always want pictures of my cheeks.
God, look at these stupid fish.
I hate fish! I'm gonna go sit down."

"Hmmmm...I hear what you're saying about fish being fun, but..." 

"I HATE FISH! AND I HATE YOUR FACE!"

"Wow! The aquarium is super fun!"

"Guys, it's time for crazy faces! Man, this aquarium is awesome." 

"Remember me? That adorable kid you used to teach
one-on-one everyday? Remember when I seemed like hard work?
Before you realised I was an ANGEL?"

"Wow! Sand! What a great field trip!"

"I can't even look at you. I HATE EVERYTHING!"

Bowled over

Edward and Jacob were providing a little insight into what I can only assume are their parents' views on Japan today. If you've taught in Korea, you'll already have an idea of where this is heading. If you haven't, well, this is not going to be pretty.

(As an aside, I had to correct their understanding of the word 'lesbian' at the start of the class. Apparently the message that it has to be two girls, rather than a girl a boy with a girl's name, hadn't quite gotten through.)

So. Japan. The images coming out of there are pretty insane, and it's right freaking next door, so I feel lucky that we've been totally unaffected in Korea. But apparently some of my students have felt more than lucky. They're pretty damn jazzed about the whole affair. Jacob started the conversation by saying that he thought it was 'pretty great'. I think I started to ask how he could possibly say that, and they started to tell me that Japan did some terrible things to Korea. (Maybe, as a teacher here, I'd missed out on that little nugget of information.) Then Edward chimed in with 'Jesus is punishing them for doing such terrible things.'

And my jaw just about hit the floor. Here's a kid I know to be smart and open-minded, and who has shown very little of the spoiled behavior I see in a lot of the wealthier students. Woah. I honestly don't remember everything I said after that. I do know that I said it was unchristian, and I plan to apologize for saying that. I do remember saying that being angry was quite a different thing from wishing death and suffering on another person. And I remember saying that Christianity is about forgiveness. And I do not plan to apologize for that. I do not plan on avoiding the topic in class, because I feel sick when I think of adults telling children that any kind of god would punish innocent people for something their grandparents did. Something their government HAS apologized for.

There are a lot of things about Korean culture that I think we expats can be too harsh on. Hating Japan is not one of them. It is unacceptable to me to raise a child with hate. Especially an old hate. If everyone hated me because of things either or both of my countries have done, I would find myself pretty lonely. Thank goodness I'm not.

Baby steps...

Well, we managed two tantrum free days from the pre-schooler, so of course today brought another battle. After saying he was hungry before lunchtime, he refused his lunch, and instead spent the whole time running around the (non-baby-proof) school. So I obviously expected an easy afternoon, because nothing leads to good behavior like hunger and tiredness.

Having figured out that we don't put up with bad behavior in the classroom, he refused to even enter the room for afternoon class. Luckily, the director's husband is AWESOME with kids and just kept repeating that he had to go to class during class time. The persistence on both sides was impressive, but of course the little guy eventually got carried into the classroom. Where the real tears started. Long story short, he refused to take a nap, but then ended up falling asleep while standing and leaning against my leg. So I guess we're buddies now.

Sticking it out

One of the biggest changes with this job is that I now teach kindie. And when I say kindie, I mean babies. Our first student has just gone up to the 'Pre-K' class and arrived speaking not one word of English. Within a month, she was able to identify beginning sounds of words, and name lots of animals. She's pretty much a genius in her new class.

My latest student is even tinier than the last one. I'm told he's 4 and a half, but I suspect he's actually closer to 3. He doesn't speak any English either, which is fine, but he also makes mules look compliant. We are currently locked in a battle of wills, from which I refuse to back down. His mother (thank god!) has said that we should be 'strong' with him when he is stubborn. So I hope this means she will continue to send him here, despite the fact that he spent 2 solid lessons this morning crying and saying things like 'I want to go home', 'I miss my mom', 'I hate it here.' and my favorite: 'Tell me! Why did I get sent here? Tell meeeeee!' (It really adds to the drama to have the wailing translated.)

What could have possibly caused such outrage from our Napoleon-in-training? Oh, just a request to sit next to the big mean white lady, while the nice Korean lady (who has been successfully recruited to the dark side) refuses to acknowledge his existence. All credit to him, he kept up his wailing until after the bell rang, and the Korean teacher left the room. I'd pretty much given up thinking that this plan would work, when I finally managed to drag him to the chair, and he sat himself down. After lots of hugs and 'Good boy!'s, I turned him over to the kindness of the Korean staff who promptly laid him down for a nap. Which lasted through lunch.

After he woke up, and had lunch, we had a most pleasant art class. He even cleaned up his books and pencils without complaint.

Battle is scheduled to recommence tomorrow morning.

Update: The next two days have passed without tears, and only minimal resistance. He's even said (in Korean of course...) that he wants to speak in English! Here's hoping this cease-fire can turn into lasting peace.

Like Ne-Yo...and Usher...

A long time ago, I wrote a blog post using a writing technique I was teaching at the time. I seem to be teaching a lot about dialogues and scripts lately, so here's one of the latter (because I'm just not a big fan of too many he said she saids).

Scene: 5th grade writing class. The students are telling stories about themselves for their group to write down. The girls are talking about fights at school, the boys are sharing stories about when they studied abroad.

JACOB: ...I went to Washington, D.C. There were a lot of black people there. I went to a museum.
TEACHER: Um, Jacob, is that relevant to your story? You really shouldn't say something like that unless it's relevant or important to your story.

Jacob looks down, but appears to remain unconvinced. A few quiet minutes pass, then the boys start to get noisy again.

JACOB (in a loud voice): I think black people are pretty weird actually. Their all like 'Hey' and whatever...
TEACHER: Jacob!
Pause to think of something appropriate and suppress urge to break child's face.
Ok, Jacob, would I ever say 'I got shoved on the subway this morning. By a Korean.'?
JACOB: Um, no?
TEACHER: But who is more likely to shove me on the subway? A Korean or a white person?
JACOB: A Korean?
TEACHER: That's right. But I wouldn't say that. Because it is RUDE.

Teacher walks back to the front and wonders why the hell these kids study abroad if they come home with exactly the same attitudes they left with.
A few minutes pass.

EDWARD: I like black people actually. Yeah, I was friends with a lot of blacks...I mean, in the Philippines I had a lot of black Americans for friends. I like their style, and the way they talk, all 'Yo yo yo homies'
TEACHER: Yeah, actually black culture is really popular in America - the music and dance and lots of stuff.
EDWARD: Yeah! There's a lot of singers right? Like Ne-Yo...and Usher....

Bell rings and teacher breathes a huge fucking sigh of relief.

This is not the first time race has come up in class, nor do I expect it to be the last. There were a few weeks there where I felt like all I did was explain segregation. One of the stories I taught was about a black family driving a gold Caddilac to Mississippi in the 1950s. Explaining why this was enough 'conflict' for a whole story was definitely challenging. But the message got through, and hopefully those kids will remember it. And thank god there are kids like Edward to balance out the Jacobs.