Agog with foreign grog

Oh dots!

2011-12-19T01:35:00.000-08:00

Another testing day, another bunch of hilarious essays. Sanah, recently returned to Korea from Texas, has quite the way with exclamations, which are often reminiscent of old-timey folks at church. Here's her essay on what she would buy if she got a lot of money and had to spend it on someone else"

I want to give a Rilakuma sharpener with a card on it to Ginny. I want to give her because I can't see her very much. And she is very, very, so, so nice. I love her too. I hope she likes it! But how will I get lots of money? I wouldn't suddenly have so much! (The money) I wish she says "Thank you". I think she will be really happy. What if she hates it?
I want to invite Ginny to Christmas. That way I can say "Merry Christmas!" But I don't think I will see her for a lo~~ng time! Oh dots! Looking at my pencil makes me think doty. The end.

And here's a cute one from Ariel. Ariel is generally a pain in the butt, and probably the only kid in the entire class that I don't wish I could steal. She can be downright mean to the other girls, and despite endless correction, she constantly interrupts people. But even I can see that this shows her cute side:

I will buy my mother a present because my mother bought me many things but I didn't have money to do something for my mother. To buy [for] me, my mom save money what she had so she couldn't buy what she want. She wanted some bags and earings so I will buy my mother many pretty bags and cute earings. I will buy her a dress and rings. My mother caught a cold so I think I will buy a soft blanket and pillows. Then my mother will be thankful for me and most of all she will think I am a nice, kind and pretty girl just for her and love me more than now.

Imagine that your pet can talk to you!

2011-11-09T00:52:00.000-08:00

Today is Level Test day. Pretty much the most boring day. We watch the kids take tests for almost every single class, and since the classrooms have podiums rather than desks for the teachers, I've been standing still for somewhere around two hours. It reminds me of working afternoon shifts in pubs - guess I'm not quite as far away from the 'service industry' as I like to think!

Anyway, the silver lining is grading some hilarious stories from the writing part of the test. Including this liittle gem from Heidi. Heidi is (obviously) super smart, and she's so pale I was concerned at first that her mom had started her on whitening creams early. She has since said she hates to sit under the parasol at the beach, so perhaps her mother is just very careful with her. She always has something to tell me at the beginning of class, and usually starts by saying 'I have one good news and one bad news.' The good news items usually involve small gifts from friends, or an upcoming party, while bad news is often about a naughty boy at school or a test. Whatever the news, it is always delivered carefully and with great seriousness.

My pet is an cat named Cutie. She can talk! When I went to a park, she said "Oh my! That cat is so handsom!"
I said "Yes, but we have to go!" She said "But he is to handsom! Lets go to him!" She pulled her neckelis. She was to strong!
I shouted, "Ahhhhh!!". I fell down. She ran to the handsom cat. she said "Hellow, my name is Cutie. Who are you?"
"My name is Lano."
"Oh, Lano, lets go to our house." He shouted, "No I already have an girlfriend!"
The cat ran away. Cutie cried, "He ran away from me!"
I said "It's alright. cutie he said he already has a girlfreind. Our next door, there is an kind and handsome cat."
She said "Really? Then lets go!" Our next door cat is Looloo. Cutie said "Hello, Looloo?"
"Hi Cutie. I love you." And they hapily lived over.

I've been planning for a while now to write about some non-student related topics, but the second season of Downton Abbey only just finished. Plus there are a lot of other shows out there that require my attention in the evening. Plus I generally have about 2 brain cells left by the end of the day. Plus I am an gold-medal-winning Procrastinator.

Esther (the Molester) and Rosie Posie

2011-10-25T03:11:00.000-07:00

I got another awesome story last week from the same class (the one with 12 mini-genius-girls). Esther is pretty consistently hilarious and it became clear to me recently that she is a better trash-talker than I am. A first-grader. Speaking her second language. I mean, the kid called me 'yucky butt' without missing a beat... how can I compete with that? Oh, and she's also the kid who asked what boys have, down there. Foolishly, I supplied the necessary vocabulary item, only to be faced with the question of what girls have. She carefully repeated both words a few times to ensure that she would be able to correctly reproduce them at a later time. The kid has balls AND smarts. And she has her priorities in order when it comes to dreams:

I want to change...
first of all I don't want people to cut down trees. Because trees give us air. And the cars are making air pollution so the trees are dying. I am upset about this thing. My dream is to stop cutting trees and stop making air pollution. Second of all, I don't want any people to die because they don't have food. Because that people's familly will be so sad. And me too. I want them to join many friends and eat lots of food and have fun! Those two things are my only two dreams!

Just this evening I got another story from Rosie in the same class. (I told you they were mini-geniuses.) Rosie has now reached maximum cuteness after the loss of one of her front teeth. Her mom used to drive her everyday and sit outside class because she had 'separation anxiety' - though we never saw signs of it in class. A few weeks later, she started crying uncontrollably, and didn't seem to stop for two or three solid days. She still insisted on coming to class and she did all her work, she just couldn't stop crying. We never found out what brought on the tears, but she's been back to her usual bubbly self for a while now and these letters are just too awesome to keep to myself!

First pig.
Dear first pig,
You made the house with the straw. The wolf was so awful and big so the wolf blew your house away. If you build the house with bricks our house will not be ruined. Nevertheless you are smart because you thought and went to your younger brother's house. You are very wise! ^^

Second pig.
Dear second pig,
You made the house with the wood. You are same with your brother. The wolf was bad so blew and blew and house went away. I have to say the same thing! If you didn't build the house with wood it will not be ruined. But next time be careful and don't be lazy! ^^

Third pig.
Dear third pig,
I want to praise you! You didn't be lazy like your brothers. You didn't care about your brothers and work hard! I want to follow your actions everyday I meet you. You are kind to let your brothers into your house even do your brothers made you feel angry. You always forgive everyone exept the wolf. i think you are so brave. I wish your brothers follow you and not be lazy. Good luck.

When I Grow Up

2011-10-13T02:35:00.000-07:00

Um. So apparently I no longer write anything ever. I blame work and Downton Abbey. To break the streak, here is something someone else wrote:

When I grow up, I will be a teacher. Real teachers think teachers are bored, but I am not. I like cheaking the children test, giving points to who are good and who are bad. I can write in the board, too!! The teachers no think like me but I like writing on the board. Teachers also can go to the room that the children can't go in. A teacher might tell the stuedent to be quiet, but the children can't say to be quiet to the teacher. I think a teacher is a important job.

Yoon-Ji, a first grader who has never studied abroad, never ceases to amaze me. Just when I think she's not paying attention, she'll ask a question that shows not only was she listening, but she's been listening the whole time. Her ability to retain new information is awesome, and like all first graders, she loves to point out inconsistencies in things I say. And of course she's adorable.

Delicious Baby

2011-07-28T18:01:00.000-07:00

Like most hagwons with kindergarten programs, we get free lunch at my school. Initially, it seemed like a major – and money-saving - perk, but has became a source of much irritation to both me and my co-workers. Last year, I was hardly adventurous with Korean food, and I would not have expected to find much to like about eating Korean food every day. But after a somewhat successful New Year's Resolution, this year has included a much wider range of Korean dishes – and a lot less boredom with my diet.

Yet, free lunch is still a problem. The soups almost always taste like dishwater and they serve fish with all the bones and fins and eyes. I know most Koreans aren't vegetarian – and I decided early on that I would continue to eat the lunch when I stopped eating meat – but this food is seriously poor quality. And they serve the same stuff to the kids. Yuck.

So what's a girl to do? Oh, don't worry, because you can go eat at Delicious Baby. I have no idea what this restaurant is actually called, but it's around the corner from my school and I will take you if you're in the neighborhood. It's teeny tiny and is pretty much a Health and Safety Inspector's nightmare, but don't let that put you off. The menu is standard kimbap shop fayre, but they make everything fresh (including the dongkass!) And they don't have any problem making changes to suit your weird egg-pickiness or meatlessness. The mom does all the cooking – and has a sixth sense about how you like your food - while her husband makes the kimbaps. That's right: a Man Making Kimbap. Delicious kimbap. I suspect he mixes happy drugs in with the rice.

Then there are the two older sons, who handle the delivery/clean-up stuff. The older one is your classic respectful young Korean guy – he once bowed to me from his scooter - and I've yet to see the younger one without a smile. No matter how much I mangle my Korean when ordering, or how many fussy requests I make, that kid is always smiling and making sure the message gets to his mom. Then, of course, there's the baby. He's only 18 months old (pretty sure he was a surprise) and looks like a tiny grandpa. His job is wandering around amongst all the food and fire and sharp objects. When he's tired, he sleeps on one of the benches or gets strapped to his mom or dad's back. (This does not, of course, prevent the dad from making deliveries on the scooter...safety first!)

When we first started going, he did what all Korean babies do when faced with foreigners: slack-jawed gaping. The whole family would try to get him to talk, but he just kept on staring. Gradually he figured out other ways to get our attention, like bouncing up and down, banging spoons, or waving rice around. Then one day he just started coming over to see us, and today he had a very entertaining time with my bike helmet. At first, he looked like he stepped on it by accident, but then it became clear that putting his feet in the helmet was the game. After I put it on his head he walked over to his parents with the helmet on backwards, then hanging off his face, before he figured out a way that he could wear it and see at the same time.

It might seem ridiculous to write so much about one little restaurant and the family that runs it, but you don't know how Delicious that Baby's food is. And there's nothing like good food for making you feel at home in a faraway land.

Cuteness

2011-06-21T22:57:00.000-07:00

Co-teachers come in all shapes and attitudes: helpful, mean, indispensible, uncooperative and adorable being just a few options. I didn't really have a co-teacher last year as we always taught separate classes from the Korean teachers, and only really needed to work together to deal with problem students. This year, I have the monster, and his tantrums have created a bond between me and my fabulous co-teacher.

She'd never taught before, and her English isn't the best (I was slightly terrified during the first class when she had to look up almost every word to translate all the screaming.) But we made a good team from the start, and she is an invaluable source of information from the monster's family. Oh, and I haven't had to prepare an art class in two months now thanks to her efforts. Most importantly, her Starbucks study sessions, and being around English all day have paid off so we can have 3 minute chats during our stairwell time-outs with the monster.

I think my favorite thing about our chats is that she obviously thinks of things to say beforehand, and practices how to say them properly. She'd never had a foreigner friend before, or traveled outside Korea, so lots of things I say are pretty surprising, which makes me feel special and unique. And she pretty much smiles 59 minutes out of 60. Anyway, here are some quotes:

'I think you are look like Princess Diana.'
'Oh thanks, but it's just the hair.'
'No really, I think so.'
'Well thank you.'

'I'm wondering again, why don't you have a boyfriend?'
'Hmmm...where to begin...'

'You can eat the tomatoes. He won't eat them.'
'Oh why?'
'Because he is little scared. They are very surprise.'
'Oh ok. Because they burst open?'
'Yes. Also, how do you say - tiny tomato? little tomato? baby tomato?'
'Ah, cherry tomato.'

'Maybe this language is so strange and funny, but, are you pretty to foreigners?'
'Um what?'
'Well, I see many foreigners at the beach, and I think they are not pretty, but I think you are pretty, so...'
uncontrollable laughter 'I think most of the foreigners here are pretty actually. And, um, I hope my friends think that I am...'

'Your dress is very become to you.'

'Urinate. Pee. Which one is correct?'

And my favorite note, perhaps of all time. I asked her to call a Korean phone number to check that I had completed everything to book a walk across the Gwangalli bridge. When I asked her how it went, she got all shy and fluttery, and asked me to wait until she'd written it down.

'They'll send the material to need the day by delivery service.

So, it doesn't need anything
You have only to bring it. ^-^

*This grammar is wrong, so You're not able to understand ㅜ-ㅜ
Do you understand~? If you don't understand.
ask me again'

Ups and Downs

2011-06-08T02:29:00.000-07:00

Last weekend was full of 'em. On balance, I'd say the ups have it, but that doesn't make those downs much easier to take when they come around.

It started so well - I left work on Friday totally exhausted, and went to grab a bite at the new kimbap place around the corner. Dinner was quick and delicious, and after dithering about whether to walk home or take the subway, I found a 50,000won note on the ground. Score. I decided karma really wanted me to walk home, and to buy some Cass Red on the way.

But then on Saturday, karma apparently had quite different plans for Lacey and I. Plans that involved trekking all over the place, but failing to complete any errands. The bank was shut (Turns out it is NEVER open outside my working hours. That's smart.), the outdoors shop IN NAMPO-DONG was in the process of moving to a new location, and the hairdresser was already booked up for the afternoon. Just one of those mornings you try to chalk up as 'character-building' while internally wishing your character would just bugger off already.

Thank goodness we managed to get to Dalmaji to see 'As You Like It' in the sunshine. For free! With snacks! And wine! After the play finished, we strolled down the hill to Haeundae beach. What with it being the first weekend that the beach was officially open, and two festivals being held there, there were just a few people dotted about. You know Koreans - they hardly ever congregate in overwhelmingly large numbers. We caught a little bit of the Busan International Dance Festival, which was totally mesmerizing, and decided to come back the next night to see more. Saturday ended happily with a lot of dancing and beer pong in an over-crowded bar on the 14th floor above Haeundae.

In case you thought Saturday morning's trials had earned us some good karma, you would be wrong. Very wrong. After a slow start, we set out to find a 'Korean Natural Food Restaurant'. Having been unable to find opening hours online, the restaurant was of course closed for the afternoon. Undaunted, we booked a table for the evening, and headed to the beach to kill some time in the sun. By the time our reservation time rolled around, we were seated in a cute little room at the restaurant and very hungry for some delicious vegetarian food. Only to find out that you have to book A DAY IN ADVANCE for the vegetarian option. Are you kidding?

Fortune smiled briefly upon us in the form of a vegan buffet restaurant within walking distance. Vegan restaurants always make me feel like I'm in candyland - I can eat everything! Nothing will make me sick! Ever! After the feast, we headed to a bar for a martini and a couple of games of darts. Thinking we still had a couple of hours to go before the dance festival, we took our time getting to Haeundae.

We arrived to find a much larger crowd than Saturday night, and a man spinning on his head on stage. Impressive. The group left the stage, we sat down, and the announcers started wrapping up the evening's events. What. Disappointment was severe. I mean really severe. I mean I didn't even want a beer to ease the pain severe. Bad times.

Thank goodness it was a holiday weekend, and we had Monday to do something fun. I'd read about a small stone temple in Busan, and read that it really isn't very far away, or hard to get to (Lonely Planet advice notwithstanding). Mercifully, our information was good, and the temple was exactly where it should have been, and exactly as impressive as described. And we had makkeolli. I didn't quite believe that our luck had returned, but when we headed to PNU to get some food, we discovered that Maya had re-opened! WOOOOOOOO!

Could this awesome day get any better? Oh yes, yes it could. Because then we walked off all that delicious Indian food on the way to the German brew-pub in Oncheonjang, where we drank delicious beers. That must be enough 'up' for one day right? Oh no, because then we went to spa land to take a delicious bath and enjoy a delicious sit down. I definitely understand the 'sitting around' part of the spa experience better now that I have a smaller apartment: it's for when you don't want to go home, but you do want to be AT home.

After all that, Korea and I are getting along ok again, but I sure wish she'd tone down the drama sometimes.

Poor Monster

2011-05-17T23:31:00.000-07:00

Last Monday morning, my co-teacher told me the monster was at the hospital, and would be coming in late. In Korea, a kid going to the hospital doesn't mean much - they go for colds and minor ailments pretty regularly - but a 4-year-old with a fever is a kid I had hoped would be allowed to stay home. No such luck. The doctors found him to be 'not severely sick' and so he was dropped off just before lunchtime, and announced his arrival by crying. Actually, the first sound I heard was a petulant whine that I knew within half a second was his. I've definitely spent too much time with this kid.

After lunch, I politely inquired if our little charge had eaten any of his lunch, and was informed that no, he had not, and indeed he had vomited on the floor. But not to worry - "sometimes he makes himself vomit by crying too much." Lovely. So glad he wasn't 'severely sick'. Honestly, at this point I felt awful for the poor sod. He was obviously OBVIOUSLY a sick little guy and desperate for sleep. Indeed, within a few seconds of me turning around to get his favorite song ready on the computer, he'd fallen asleep at his desk and started drooling on his hand. No fake sleeping this time.

The next day was a holiday, and then on Wednesday he was kept home again. Turns out he had food poisoning. On Thursday he still couldn't really talk (I think he had mouth ulcers) but he'd been bored at home and told his mom he was going to school. He was an angel almost the whole day: he found creative ways to express himself through thumbs-up and thumbs-down, and managed to get through the same amount of worksheets as he usually does.

He's actually been good almost all of this week too. With the exception of that day when he decided he WOULD NOT go to the bathroom, despite showing clear signs of desperation. He held out so long, that he ended up peeing in his pants. I genuinely have no idea what triggered this behavior; he does sometimes 'hold out' on going to the bathroom, but had always given in pretty quickly. Whatever the cause, the embarrassment must have gotten to him because he could not have been nicer that afternoon. And he hasn't refused an offer to go to the bathroom since.

Poison Ivy

2011-05-10T21:29:00.000-07:00

The monster is off sick today, so I've had rather more time on my hands than I really know what to do with, so here's some more writing from Ivy, one of Lucy's classmates.

Plants are living things. All living things can feel pain and danger. When we chop trees down, the can feel pain. If you were a tree and someone chopped you down, don't you think you will not scream? Trees scream with their secret voices. Other plants can hear their scream and feel danger. These days, almost everyone make trees into non-living things. That can be okay. Just remember that if you chop trees, it's like you are killing someone. So, let's don't chop trees!

Ivy is basically an ideal student, and her writing is always this good, which is damned impressive for a second-grader who has only studied in Korea. Her mom apparently makes her listen to English-language radio and tapes at home, yet she doesn't seem to resent studying English at all. In fact, she acts like a classroom assistant: answering other students' questions and correcting their grammar and pronunciation. Of course, I stop her from correcting her classmates, but she actually manages to do it without seeming mean or stuck up.

Lately, I've started to realise how lucky I am to be teaching such small groups of highly motivated and able students. I truly appreciate my classes because I imagine there won't be many like this if I teach public school in the US or the UK. So thank you tiny people, you make these long days seem much shorter.

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds

2011-05-10T20:47:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, there was a festival at Gwangalli Beach. It was called 'Eobang Festival', and was apparently something to do with traditional fishing or something. For us, it was mostly about drinking some beers on the beach, then moving along to somewhere a little more refined: the deck outside of O-Mart. Classay.

One of my more challenging and entertaining students, Lucy, had told me she would miss class that Friday because she was singing, and said she would be singing again on Saturday. She explained that it was singing 'in the street' and would be very hard to find, and expressed concern that I wouldn't understand because 'it is all Korean!' At this point I realised that she would be in the festival parade, and despite all the obstacles, and a fog of beer and sunshine, we managed to get to the right place at the right time. Of course the song had nothing to do with Korea or traditional fishing methods, but who needs an excuse to get cute small people to sing 'Do Re Mi'?

Lucy's front and center in these pictures, and you'll note that she seems less than thrilled to be there. She didn't really 'sing' as such, but she did make a half-assed attempt to follow the choreography. So glad to see that she behaves like this for everyone, not just teachers. I should perhaps point out that Lucy told me in her first week that she hates all English teachers, and as she grew to like me, started greeting me with a variety of kicks and punches, though one day she did hug me and tell me she loves me. Oh and she's a nine-tailed fox. You gotta love a kid with that much character and attitude.

As an epilogue, here are some vocabulary sentences from Lucy's old class.

Jun:
Jen Teacher died in an earthquake.
Jen Teacher is upset because of Jun.
Jen teacher died 7 times because of her experiments.
Jen teacher is a proud mosquito.
Jen teacher was stampeded by a herd of elephants.
Jen teacher has a pet mosquito and her pet bit her.

Ivy:
Lucy went to the banquet with Jun.
Jen teacher wrote an article about Jun and Lucy loving.
Jen teacher was upset because Erik teacher said "We won't marry!"
Neil Armstrong met Jen teacher at the training center and said, "I love you."
Erik teacher, Jun and Lucy stampeded on Jen Teacher.

Lucy:
Jen survived the earthquake.
Jen is a brave person.
Jen is a proud person.
Jen is fond of and kisses mosquitos.
Jen is killing with a flock of birds.

Square One

2011-04-19T03:19:00.001-07:00

The monster was an absolute terror today: I lost count of the stairwell time-outs I dragged him to. (We don't do time-out in the classroom because he likes it and will refuse to leave the corner. He just loves corners.) From amusing correction of my pronunciation, he has quickly progressed to refusing to accept that we say 'square' instead of 'scare', or 'A B Cs' instead of the 'RAY B Cs'. (I blame the British English on those videos for the second one - I sure as hell don't have a 'linking-r' in my accent!) This kind of point-blank defiance is funny when aimed at my boss, but mostly because it's so exhausting to deal with it everyday. I definitely reached the end of my tether today, and I've lost the will to summon up a 'nice teacher' for him. We've tried cajoling, and bribing, and distracting, and scolding, and time-outs in 3 different locations. We've tried worksheets and videos and stickers and threats. We've let him cry it out and sulk it out and exhaust himself in the gym. We've taken him for walks around the school like a puppy when he pretends to fall asleep. I've yelled, I've mocked, I've joked, I've begged. I'm all out of patience. I hear that his parents are strict with him, but I don't see any improvement in this child. Other than his English. If any bright sparks out there know how to deal with a child who does not give a crap about punishment, please give me a shout. Because I am fresh out of ideas.

But on the other plus side, I've been cycling to work along the beach. Buddha's birthday is coming up soon, so they've put up tunnels of red and yellow lanterns along the sidewalk and I defy anyone to go through without smiling. It's just so cheery and warm and fluttery! It's hard to stay stressed when your daily commute includes beach-lantern-tunnels.

A is for apple, a-a-apple

2011-04-14T21:06:00.001-07:00

After the last post, I think we managed a week and a half of blissful good behavior from the monster. Of course, this couldn't, and indeed didn't, last. But in that brief window, there was a siesmic shift: he started to speak English in front of me. Especially things like 'No!' and 'Dark cave' and 'Not monster'. His first full sentence was 'What are you doing?' - a question I ask him about 20 times a day when he's climbing up the cupboards or dangling from a chair. If I'm very nice, I get a 'Hi' or 'Bye', but my favorite greeting so far was last week's response to my cheery 'Good morning!': a blank stare, followed by (in Korean) "I'm not wearing my school pants today."

If you've taught kids this young before, you'll already know that they pick up your accent disturbingly quickly, and the monster is no exception. After 7 years in Scotland, I don't say 'good' like an American, and since I use a lot of praise when he follows simple instructions like 'Sit down' and 'Stop being a giant pain in the butt', he hears this word a LOT. And now uses 'Gut' as his standard affirmative response: 'Does this word start with a 'juh' sound?' 'Gut.' He also spends a lot of time watching a series of videos on youtube performed by a British ESL teacher, and so says 'Tyuesday' and 'boll' (instead of 'ball'). He even corrects my American pronunciation of 'Saturday'. Seems I'm accidentally on purpose feeding him non-American English. Oops!

Incidentally, he'd also make an excellent rock climber. He's happy to repeat the same activity forever (provided it's something he has approved of course) and now spends most of his time in the gym on the same bouldering problem: climbing up the slide. The slide has small pockets which are perfectly sized for his tiny feet, and he's finally realised that using them is more effective than his previous clamber-up-the-sides-and-grab-for-the-top-immediately approach. I should add that he is also practicing English while doing this: without my prompting, he started singing 'The Itsy-Bitsy Spider' while climbing. Though his rendition sounds more like "The etsy-betsy spider washed in da belk. Down came the rain and washed in da melk."

Today was our second field trip, resulting in the finest in monstrous behavior and the highest level of chin-jutting: The Godfather Jaw. While all the children sat waiting to make cookies, the monster was, of course, standing on the bench. Our director asked him to sit down, foolishly thinking he would respect her authority, only to be met with unflinching eye-contact and the exact same 'No!' the rest of us get. Good job, monster. Good job indeed.

Life in Busan...

2011-04-11T23:27:00.000-07:00

...is very different from life in Daegu:

- THERE IS A BEACH. The importance of this cannot be overstated. I have never lived near a beach before and it's awesome. Just awesome.
- I have to get up early. And work long hours. blablabla.
- My apartment does not have nauseating wallpaper.
- I live with a cat. Which means lots of lint-rolling and laughing at her antics.
- I teach kindie. (translation: the monster) Actually, almost all my students are younger this year: I only teach two classes that are older than my youngest class last year.
- My students speak English. A lot of English. Enough English to challenge my nerdy grammar-love.
- No more 'foreign' (read: non-Korean) manager. Sob.
- People don't stare. On the subway, I can read my book or answer my phone without being obsessively observed. I don't really feel like I have to 'represent' all foreigners all the time.
- No more drive-by hellos. And no more children yelling '외국인!' (foreigner) either. Nice-uh.
- I can't wear my nose-ring to work. Double sob.
- I actually like all my friends. I almost never have to hang out with people I'd rather avoid. Love it.

So there you go: swings and roundabouts. On balance, it's an improvement, but it's only now that I can appreciate how sweet my job was last year.

The Monstrous Monster

2011-03-17T03:12:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow, we're taking the kindergarten students, including the monster, to the aquarium for a field trip. Which I'm pretty freaking pumped about because I can't imagine anything better for a St. Paddy's day hangover than 11 tiny people and bajillions of sea creatures.

In case you thought the monster would have become better behaved under the daily influence of my fabulous teaching, um, you would be wrong. This kid is hard core when it comes to getting what he wants. And he takes avoidance of things he doesn't want even more seriously. Sometimes I swear his heels are dug in so far he must be up to his neck (he's teeny so it wouldn't take long.)

Earlier in the week, we had fun pretending that the podium (teachers don't have desks at my school) was his house, but the real fun started I moved it so he couldn't sit inside anymore. That's if you call 30 minutes of crying fun. There were, of course, brief breaks in the sobbing to check that we were still looking at him. It truly was a performance worthy of a Korean drama.

He's also told me, on two separate occasions, that he hates me. I believe a direct translation is 'My teacher is terrible.' And no, he didn't use the polite form of the verb. However, one class later, in the gym, he climbed all over my back so he could put his ear next to my ear. Don't ask why because the Korean teacher was as puzzled by this as I was, but it was obviously very funny for him. Oh, and then he stuck out his tongue and tried to attack us both. But remember, I'm terrible.

UPDATE: So, the hangover wasn't too serious, but guess who hates fish? And, indeed, all sea life? And all teachers? And even the BEACH?? If you guessed the tiny terror, good job. You are genius. Here are some pics of him hating life, and along with a few of children who actually like things.

"Sigh...people always want pictures of my cheeks. God, look at these stupid fish. I hate fish! I'm gonna go sit down."

"Hmmmm...I hear what you're saying about fish being fun, but..."

"I HATE FISH! AND I HATE YOUR FACE!"

"Wow! The aquarium is super fun!"

"Guys, it's time for crazy faces! Man, this aquarium is awesome."

"Remember me? That adorable kid you used to teach one-on-one everyday? Remember when I seemed like hard work? Before you realised I was an ANGEL?"

"Wow! Sand! What a great field trip!"

"I can't even look at you. I HATE EVERYTHING!"

Bowled over

2011-03-14T04:44:00.001-07:00

Edward and Jacob were providing a little insight into what I can only assume are their parents' views on Japan today. If you've taught in Korea, you'll already have an idea of where this is heading. If you haven't, well, this is not going to be pretty.

(As an aside, I had to correct their understanding of the word 'lesbian' at the start of the class. Apparently the message that it has to be two girls, rather than a girl a boy with a girl's name, hadn't quite gotten through.)

So. Japan. The images coming out of there are pretty insane, and it's right freaking next door, so I feel lucky that we've been totally unaffected in Korea. But apparently some of my students have felt more than lucky. They're pretty damn jazzed about the whole affair. Jacob started the conversation by saying that he thought it was 'pretty great'. I think I started to ask how he could possibly say that, and they started to tell me that Japan did some terrible things to Korea. (Maybe, as a teacher here, I'd missed out on that little nugget of information.) Then Edward chimed in with 'Jesus is punishing them for doing such terrible things.'

And my jaw just about hit the floor. Here's a kid I know to be smart and open-minded, and who has shown very little of the spoiled behavior I see in a lot of the wealthier students. Woah. I honestly don't remember everything I said after that. I do know that I said it was unchristian, and I plan to apologize for saying that. I do remember saying that being angry was quite a different thing from wishing death and suffering on another person. And I remember saying that Christianity is about forgiveness. And I do not plan to apologize for that. I do not plan on avoiding the topic in class, because I feel sick when I think of adults telling children that any kind of god would punish innocent people for something their grandparents did. Something their government HAS apologized for.

There are a lot of things about Korean culture that I think we expats can be too harsh on. Hating Japan is not one of them. It is unacceptable to me to raise a child with hate. Especially an old hate. If everyone hated me because of things either or both of my countries have done, I would find myself pretty lonely. Thank goodness I'm not.

Baby steps...

2011-03-09T20:47:00.000-08:00

Well, we managed two tantrum free days from the pre-schooler, so of course today brought another battle. After saying he was hungry before lunchtime, he refused his lunch, and instead spent the whole time running around the (non-baby-proof) school. So I obviously expected an easy afternoon, because nothing leads to good behavior like hunger and tiredness.

Having figured out that we don't put up with bad behavior in the classroom, he refused to even enter the room for afternoon class. Luckily, the director's husband is AWESOME with kids and just kept repeating that he had to go to class during class time. The persistence on both sides was impressive, but of course the little guy eventually got carried into the classroom. Where the real tears started. Long story short, he refused to take a nap, but then ended up falling asleep while standing and leaning against my leg. So I guess we're buddies now.

Sticking it out

2011-03-06T21:12:00.001-08:00

One of the biggest changes with this job is that I now teach kindie. And when I say kindie, I mean babies. Our first student has just gone up to the 'Pre-K' class and arrived speaking not one word of English. Within a month, she was able to identify beginning sounds of words, and name lots of animals. She's pretty much a genius in her new class.

My latest student is even tinier than the last one. I'm told he's 4 and a half, but I suspect he's actually closer to 3. He doesn't speak any English either, which is fine, but he also makes mules look compliant. We are currently locked in a battle of wills, from which I refuse to back down. His mother (thank god!) has said that we should be 'strong' with him when he is stubborn. So I hope this means she will continue to send him here, despite the fact that he spent 2 solid lessons this morning crying and saying things like 'I want to go home', 'I miss my mom', 'I hate it here.' and my favorite: 'Tell me! Why did I get sent here? Tell meeeeee!' (It really adds to the drama to have the wailing translated.)

What could have possibly caused such outrage from our Napoleon-in-training? Oh, just a request to sit next to the big mean white lady, while the nice Korean lady (who has been successfully recruited to the dark side) refuses to acknowledge his existence. All credit to him, he kept up his wailing until after the bell rang, and the Korean teacher left the room. I'd pretty much given up thinking that this plan would work, when I finally managed to drag him to the chair, and he sat himself down. After lots of hugs and 'Good boy!'s, I turned him over to the kindness of the Korean staff who promptly laid him down for a nap. Which lasted through lunch.

After he woke up, and had lunch, we had a most pleasant art class. He even cleaned up his books and pencils without complaint.

Battle is scheduled to recommence tomorrow morning.

Update: The next two days have passed without tears, and only minimal resistance. He's even said (in Korean of course...) that he wants to speak in English! Here's hoping this cease-fire can turn into lasting peace.

Like Ne-Yo...and Usher...

2011-03-04T03:30:00.000-08:00

A long time ago, I wrote a blog post using a writing technique I was teaching at the time. I seem to be teaching a lot about dialogues and scripts lately, so here's one of the latter (because I'm just not a big fan of too many he said she saids).

Scene: 5th grade writing class. The students are telling stories about themselves for their group to write down. The girls are talking about fights at school, the boys are sharing stories about when they studied abroad.

JACOB: ...I went to Washington, D.C. There were a lot of black people there. I went to a museum.
TEACHER: Um, Jacob, is that relevant to your story? You really shouldn't say something like that unless it's relevant or important to your story.

Jacob looks down, but appears to remain unconvinced. A few quiet minutes pass, then the boys start to get noisy again.

JACOB (in a loud voice): I think black people are pretty weird actually. Their all like 'Hey' and whatever...
TEACHER: Jacob!
Pause to think of something appropriate and suppress urge to break child's face.
Ok, Jacob, would I ever say 'I got shoved on the subway this morning. By a Korean.'?
JACOB: Um, no?
TEACHER: But who is more likely to shove me on the subway? A Korean or a white person?
JACOB: A Korean?
TEACHER: That's right. But I wouldn't say that. Because it is RUDE.

Teacher walks back to the front and wonders why the hell these kids study abroad if they come home with exactly the same attitudes they left with.
A few minutes pass.

EDWARD: I like black people actually. Yeah, I was friends with a lot of blacks...I mean, in the Philippines I had a lot of black Americans for friends. I like their style, and the way they talk, all 'Yo yo yo homies'
TEACHER: Yeah, actually black culture is really popular in America - the music and dance and lots of stuff.
EDWARD: Yeah! There's a lot of singers right? Like Ne-Yo...and Usher....

Bell rings and teacher breathes a huge fucking sigh of relief.

This is not the first time race has come up in class, nor do I expect it to be the last. There were a few weeks there where I felt like all I did was explain segregation. One of the stories I taught was about a black family driving a gold Caddilac to Mississippi in the 1950s. Explaining why this was enough 'conflict' for a whole story was definitely challenging. But the message got through, and hopefully those kids will remember it. And thank god there are kids like Edward to balance out the Jacobs.

Passing the time with books

2010-12-21T10:24:00.000-08:00

I'm still stranded in Kirkland (outside of Seattle) and still without my visa or passport. I won't bother retelling the whole sorry tale here, let's just say I've started to feel like this guy:

Only now I'm kind of deflated.

Anyway, this year I planned to read 50 books, and I've finally done it! Here's the list, by month, with ratings (based entirely on how much I liked reading it):

In bold are my top 10, and italics are the ones that really weren't worth it.

1. The Giver - Lois Lowry 5/5
2. Into Thin Air - John Krakauer 3/5
3. Korea: A Walk Through the Land of Miracles - Simon Winchester 3/5
4. How the Garcia Girls Lost Their Accents - Julia Alvarez 3/5
--
5. A Cook's Tour - Anthony Bourdain 3/5
6. A Very Long Engagement - Sebastien Japrisot 4/5
7. Bipolar Orders: The Two Koreas Since 1989 - Hwang Gu Lynn 2/5
--
8. Everything is Illuminated - Jonathan Safran Foer 4/5
9. The Little Prince - Antoine de Saint-Exupery 5/5
10. The Perks of Being a Wallflower - Stephen Chbosky 4/5
11. The Geography of Thought - Richard E. Nisbett 3/5
--
12. Lamb - Christopher Moore 4/5
13. Mythology - Edith Hamilton 4/5
14. The Unbearable Lightness of Being - Milan Kundera 3/5
15. The Education of Little Tree - Forrest Carter 5/5
--
16. On Writing Well - William Zissner 2/5
17. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - Stieg Larsson 4/5
18. The Man who Mistook His Wife for a Hat - Oliver Sacks 4/5
19. A Walk in the Woods - Bill Bryson 3/5
--
20. House of Sand and Fog - Andres Dubus III 3/5
21. Buddha - Deepak Chopra 3/5
22. Thursday Next: First Among Sequels - Jasper Fforde 3/5
23. Gathering Blue - Lois Lowry 3/5
24. Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams 4/5
--
25. A Million Little Pieces - James Frey 1/5
26. The Girl who Played with Fire - Stieg Larsson 4/5
27. Maniac Macgee - Jeremy Spinelli 4/5
28. A Corpse in the Koryo - James Church 2/5
--
29. The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood - Rebecca Wells 5/5
30. Coyote Blue - Christopher Moore 4/5
31. The Falls - Joyce Carol Oates 1/5
32. Norwegian Wood - Haruki Murakami 4/5
--
33. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius - Dave Eggers 2/5
34. Eat Pray Love - Elizabeth Gilbert 3/5
--
35. Just a Phrase I'm Going Through - David Crystal 5/5
36. Unitarian Universalist Pocket Guide - various 3/5
37. The Penelopiad - Margaret Atwood 4/5
38. Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone - J. K. Rowling 3/5
--
39. Slaughterhouse Five - Kurt Vonnegut 4/5
40. The Piano Teacher - Janice Y. K. Lee 2/5
41. The Color of Water - James McBride 4/5
42. The Memory Keeper's Daughter - Kim Edwards 1/5
43. Unbearable Lightness - Portia diRossi 3/5
44. Work Hard. Be Nice. - Jay Matthews 5/5
45. Neither Here Nor There - Bill Bryson 4/5
--
46. Full Frontal Feminism - Jessica Valenti 3/5
47. Dead Man Walking - Sister Helen Prejean 5/5
48. When My Name Was Keoko - Linda Sue Park 2/5
49. Amy and Isabelle - Elizabeth Strout 2/5
50. Apologize, Apologize! - Elizabeth Kelly 2/5

First impressions of Vietnam

2010-11-30T17:10:00.000-08:00

Our bags got lost on the way to Vietnam. And so we had an immediate introduction to Vietnamese service. After Chinese airport staff, who responded to questions like middle-schoolers being assigned homework, it was a pleasure to discover that this loss of baggage would be no trouble at all. They started making calls before we’d even reached the desk and located the bags before we’d finished the form. Our stuff was delivered to the hotel in a few hours. We definitely weren’t in Korea anymore.

The first thing Lacey and I noticed on the taxi to the hotel was the quiet. It felt like it should be loud – there are so many motorcycles and scooters that the cars are like rolling boulders in a fast-moving stream, and they use their little ‘pim-pim’ horns with an almost Italian regularity - but instead it was calm and, frankly, soothing. Traffic in Vietnam continued to fascinate for the whole week, and we never did see an accident. It became clear pretty quickly that, for all the apparent chaos, everyone pays an awful lot of attention to each other. While I never got comfortable with crossing the roads, riding on the back of a motorcycle felt surprisingly safe, especially when remembering Korean taxi rides. And the constant ‘pim-pim’ starts to seem polite after a while.

The second thing I noticed on the way into Saigon was that this was a considerably poorer country than Korea. The infrastructure was crumbling, with cables hung in the most haphazard way imaginable, and the people weren’t all using shiny phones and wearing brand-new clothes. Honestly, I think I would have noticed the poverty less if I hadn’t just left a country where wealth, and the show of wealth, is so important. But after trying to spend money all week, and finding that we still had half our Vietnamese dong on the last day, you couldn’t really avoid noticing that you’ve magically become a rich person. (And don’t worry, Lacey and I dug deep, and we shopped in the local markets until that money was gone.)

Like most good days, that first day ended with food. The French may not have always been popular in Vietnam, but damn they helped out with the food. It seems like these people liked good food before the French anyway, but it can’t hurt now can it? Our first meal in Saigon was at a little Indian restaurant where we were introduced to salted tea, tried our damnedest to spend more than 10 bucks each, and rolled out of there just about as happy as clams.

Lies, damned lies and statistics

2010-10-25T21:10:00.000-07:00

Since leaving Korea:

Number of days: 44
Number of countries: 4
(Vietnam, Scotland, USA and (very briefly) Canada)
Number of modes of transport: 9
(taxi, bus, plane, train, boat, bike, bus, subway, car)
Number of flights: 7
Number of flights almost missed: 3
(Of which, 1 was very much our fault...)
Number of places slept overnight (not including transport): 17
Of which, 3 were hotels/hostels
Number of lactase tablets consumed: 25 and counting
Amount of delicious non-Korean food eaten: about an extra 5 pounds worth
Number of times I've marveled at how every coffee shop has soy milk: 100s
Amount of time since it became clear that I'm now 'unemployed' rather than 'on vacation': 2 weeks
Frequency of checking for emails from recruiters: 10 times a day
Level of excitedness about finally seeing the parents tomorrow: very high
Level of sadness about leaving PA: a little too high to think about

It's been too good a vacation/unemployment to sit down and write anything, but that just means I have a lot of stories to remember and scribble down before the grog chases them all away.

My Top Five Koreans

2010-10-18T20:05:00.000-07:00

In no particuar order...

Angela - My most adorable student who was the hardest not to steal. The one who worries about me thinking she prays to pop idols and apologizes to my skin when I have sunburn. She's just the sweetest-natured child I've ever seen.

The guy that works in the convenience store downstairs from Lacey's apartment - Unfortunately I don't know his name, but that dude is awesome. He's really old and I think if I'd met him at the start of the year I wouldn't have realised how nice he is because he pretty much doesn't speak to me or Lacey, but he's far from grumpy and he's just a really nice guy. Just the sort of fella that makes an excellent granddad.

Peter - This kid is the archetypal middle-schooler except that he's way smarter than he ever wants to let on. His great dream in life is to sleep for a week, he hates every subject at school and his hobby is 'hanging out' (I told him months ago that only little kids say 'play with friends' so he never EVER says that now.) He, and the rest of 'Brave' class, tortured me pretty much every lesson and even though I had fun in that class, I was convinced they didn't like me. Then on my leaving night, their Korean teacher told me they thought I was 'so cute' and they would tease me because I got so embarrassed. Silly me thinking I was being a hard ass.

Sang-Ah - I sat next to Sang-Ah almost all year, and for most of that time I thought her name was 'Sang-Hwa', what with that being printed in large letters above her desk. But mis-pronunciation aside, she was a great desk-buddy and we had some enlightening chats about things like whether you can 'wear' a backpack and how to deal with our shared class that just wouldn't do their homework. (The class did come around eventually after repeated threats and detentions.) In my last week, she gave me a leather bracelet that I've been wearing ever since. She's the kind of person that makes me miss Koreans a lot.

Kris - Lacey's boss is just about the funniest, smartest and most Korean woman I met all year. She never did let us pay for dinner, and she was always helpful in detangling Korean culture queries. Almost every time I saw her for one of those raucous dinners, someone had a 'Why do Koreans...?' question. Almost every time, she would hesitate and be surprised that this was even peculiar to us. And almost every time we would all leave with a little more understanding than we started with, or at least a funny story.

And a special mention has to go to my mothers' class. For the whole year I taught a small group of the students' mothers and I learned at least as much as they did. Even though the grammar we covered was pretty basic, it seems like we must have touched on every topic, and their lack of prudishness made for lively discussions. I'll never forget how nice it was to have a whole set of surrogate mothers when I was so far from my own.

Koreans. I sure do miss those guys.

Middle School Dating Project

2010-09-06T22:15:00.000-07:00

My rowdiest middle-schoolers learned two important phrases yesterday: "too good to be true" and "creepy". I actually made them write down the second one as it was the only appropriate description for the listening in their textbook. The listening being an introduction from a dating website. I just couldn't resist getting them to write their own introductions. Here are some of the best:

Hello
My name is owen. I don't smoke, I don't drink alcole. My hobbies is play computer game. My dream is PCroom CEO. I amgood my. My school is Siji.

Hi. Let me introduce myself. I'm Korean. I'm in 1 grade in Gosan Middle School.
My hobbies are playing computer games, and hang out with my friends.
Of course, I don't smoke and I exercise each day to stay in shape.
I like school. Because my friends are in school and I can play with my friends and study together.
I don't drink, I don't take bad drugs. I like my friends.
And, sometime play sports with my friends.
My favorite subject is nothing.
My hates subject is all thing.
I like baseball.
I'm waiting for your reply.

(This child understood you can lie on a dating website...)
Hi, let me introduce yourself.
I am Korean. I'm 27 years old and single.
I graduated from a Harvard University.
I have big house in New York.
I have much money.
In my house, I have zoo, park, big PC rooms, high tower, restaurants.
And I have very big company.
I'm president of my company.

Hello
My name is Nam Hyun Woo
I don't smoke and don't drink
And I am good boy not bad boy
My hobbies are listening to music and playing exercise.
I'm studen't and I'm don't spend money. I'm usually person.
And My dream is middle school PE teacher.
Let's start enjoying time together
good bye
Random (Random is his English name. I always meant to change it, but it suits him so well.)

Hi, let me introduce myself. I'm Korean. I'm 14 years old and single.
My hobby is listening to music.
I like dance music.
Of course, I don't smoke and drink alcohol.
I'm speak English. I can play piano.
I'm middle school student.
I like doing many thing together.
I like clothes and shopping.

Hi Let's me introduce myself. I'm Korean and I am one grade middle school.
My hobbies are listening the music
I'm student so, I don't smoke and I don't drink soju.
I don't have dream.
I have family. I have glasses.
I like spagetti and cola!!!!!!!!!
I have bug. I will have new cell phone.
It will be good.

Last Nite

2010-09-05T01:02:00.000-07:00

I will never leave cupboard doors open again. It's been a bad habit for years but after a good bash on the head and spending lord knows how long laying on the bathroom floor, I think the lesson might stick now.

But that was just the end of the last epic Saturday of Year One. The day started incredibly early – 10:30am! - with a catch-up class at the YMCA. After a couple of missed lessons, we had some extra practice to do, but for once we made it on time. As it was the last lesson of the semester, only half the time was for study. The rest of the class time was spent learning how to make 송편(song-pyeon: sweet rice dumplings traditionally eaten at Chuseok). It's pretty much like playing with play-doh, with all the mess and fun that implies. Apparently if you can make beautiful song-pyeon, you will have beautiful children, so we're all a little worried about our teacher's first-born. Even though it wasn't strictly class time, the three of us actually kept speaking Korean pretty much the whole time. It really brought home how far we've come from those first few weeks when remembering how to say 'thank you' was a struggle.

Next up was a trip to the hairdressers to get my burgeoning mullet under control. I've been going to the same girl for almost the whole year, and while she barely speaks English (“Me English little,” as she puts it) we've managed to communicate pretty well, and this time I finally had the nerve to speak Korean to her. It was great to actually be able to talk to her without making her nervous about her English (which, like almost every Korean girl I've met, is considerably better than she thinks). And I do love how she makes me look like a member of a K-pop boyband.

After a few more errands, and a quick stop home to freshen up (walking around all day in this heat doesn't exactly leave you feeling clean), we headed back into town for dinner at our favorite Korean traditional restaurant. Neither Lacey nor I had really remembered to organize anything about our last weekend, but we managed to round up a few of Daegu's finest for a feast. With appetites satisfied, we moved on to Organ Bar, where we parked up in a corner for the next few hours. The air-con was broken, which is less than ideal in a basement bar, but the superb music and good chat more than made up for that. After an hour or so, a group of around 50 brand new EPIK teachers trooped on in, completely drowning out our tunes and generally taking over the whole bar. Our table quickly turned into a group of grumpy old-timers staring at and judging the newbies. It was just like freshers' week all over again. Look at them all trying so hard to impress each other! And ordering imported beer! And tipping the bar staff! We judged and we felt superior and we remembered what it was like to be bowled over by Korea and, when they left, we bid them a cheery farewell.

When we were finally ready to leave Organ, the two girls at the bar stopped us to say that the Sigur Ros song I'd requested was coming up next and we HAD to wait for it. It being a 10 minute track, we had ample time to chat with them. I asked the owner if he remembered when my parents came in, and passed on their thanks for the music being so perfect that night. He not only remembered, but the girls knew about it too – and they all thought it was awesome that my parents had danced in their bar. Excited though I am about Busan, that bar is one I will miss.

After a quick stop at another bar to catch up with some other folk, six of us wrapped up the night at a norae bang. We went to my favorite one, the one we almost always go to. They give you so much extra time that its nearly impossible to stay until the 'hour' finally runs down. Within two songs I'd jumped up on the sofa and adopted the rock-stance necessary to the singing of power ballads. The streetlight people were there, Lisa Loeb made a surprise appearance, and frankly I don't think Bonnie Tyler ever sounded so good.

So, pretty much a perfect day. And one with a lesson: close the damn cupboard door!

Ch-ch-ch-ch-chaaaanges

2010-09-02T01:04:00.000-07:00

Well after all that reflection on seasons coming round again, and feeling so at home in Korea, my school is now in a state of noisy upheaval. I should never really have expected things to stay the same for too long - that just isn't the Korean way.

The school has occupied a full 7-storey building up to now, but due to the ever-dropping number of students, we're moving into the top 3. That means that what was once the teacher's office and a small library now also contains the front desk and reading stations for the students. And some plants. They moved those up today, presumably to make us all feel better about things.

I have to say, at this late stage, I just can't get myself irritated about any of this disruption. I had to move my desk, but really that just forced me to organize some of the worksheets I was planning to take with me anyway. I now sit in Manager's Row with both the foreign and Korean managers right next to me, but that just means I pick up tidbits of information early. I'm terribly hungover today, but hey, that just means the kids get an easy time.

It's also pretty interesting being in close quarters with the admin staff. Of course teachers and desk staff had some contact before, when we need to order books or get pay slips, but we were separated by five floors. It was pretty funny the first couple of days when one of them was running about telling the workmen all about her vision of where things would miraculously fit. It was a little less funny the day there were cables draped everywhere and the workmen alternated between yelling at each other and drilling things. In all the chaos, one of them also dropped his cigarettes, which a child then started playing soccer with.

All in all, a pretty typical time in K-town. Now if I could just get hold of some coffee, today would be just peachy.

Deadlines

2010-08-29T23:20:00.000-07:00

Lacey and I will be in Vietnam in two weeks. My first year in Korea is almost over. It's finally started to sink in, and now that we've crossed the deadline*, I feel a lot calmer about it than I did a month ago. Only four more lessons with my favourite kids, but only three more to survive with the awful ones. Undoubtedly, saying goodbye to my students is the part that makes me feel saddest about leaving. On my worst days, those kids unfailingly lift my mood and remind me why I'm here. Even though English teaching involves a large dollop of theatre and acting, I feel more like myself in the classroom than in any other job I've had.

Since I've extended my contract by one month, I'm now seeing the same part of the year as when I first arrived. Apples are back in season, as are the thick-skinned purple grapes, and the cicadas are loud, but back down to tolerable levels (for a couple of weeks they were loud enough to hurt your ears and drown out all conversation.) We've been watching a lot of 'River Cottage' recently, which is a pleasant but frustrating experience when living in a small urban apartment, but it makes me think that Koreans really are pretty good at living 'in tune with the seasons', as Hugh would say. Their seasonal customs are a little more rigid than we Westerners are used to, but they do make a lot of sense. I don't personally understand passing up on the delicious 'samgyetang' during cooler weather, but it is nice that the supermarket changes its vegetable display regularly.

Something else I've noticed: speaking Korean really has made the last few months a LOT easier. Taxi drivers understand directions better, I can ask for help in shops and explain my weird dietary needs in restaurants, signs are no longer a mystery. It has without doubt been the biggest help in adjusting to life as an expat. I'm going to miss studying it back home, and I'm sure that finding a decent class/tutor next year will be high on the list of things to do.

Also, the food situation has improved with time. I still don't like seaweed, though I can handle it mixed into food, and frankly I'm unlikely to ever come around on squid and octopus, but tofu and spiciness are both pretty much non-issues now. Figuring out how to cook at home has been really important too: Korean cuisine is healthy, but wherever you are, restaurants aren't going to be the best place for healthy eating. Oh, and vegan ramen. That's important too :)

I had thought that by this point in the year I'd be desperate to be out of here, but I'm really not. I'm excited about Vietnam, eating non-Korean food and, most importantly, about catching up with people I've failed to email regularly, but I'm also really happy that I'm coming back. Korea's well and truly under my skin, and I'm anticipating major kimchi cravings by the time I get back here.

*I just finished a book set in Niagara Falls, and the 'deadline' was the point in the river at which the current is so strong, going over the falls is unavoidable. Can't find a link to say if it's real or not though!

That vital ingredient in every good night out,

2010-08-26T23:58:00.000-07:00

as every foreigner in Korea knows, is the norae bang. The concept is simple: singing along to your favourite tunes with your friends in the comfort of a private room. The microphones add a ton of echo, the videos don't make a lick of sense and at least two tambourines are always provided.

If you've never had the pleasure, it's hard to imagine. As a non-karaoke singer, it sounded so awkward to me at first: singing? In a room? For fun? But from that first weekend with all my new co-workers, I was converted. Belting out a song - even a rubbish song - is just so cathartic. I've come to think of it as communal shower-singing, without the nakedness (that's of course reserved for the bath-house, where singing is rather less common). I guess that's why Koreans only know about the joys of singing in the shower from movies: they already have something even better.

Usually, of course, everyone's a few sheets to the wind by the time a norae bang idea comes to fruition. And, usually, the singing ability ranges from acceptable to fighting cats. But this last weekend was a norae bang experience I never quite expected. We were on a beach trip to Jin-ha with a group of women - including more than a few who had some serious pipes. When they sang the Cranberries' 'Dreams' I was impressed. When they sang Sarah McLaughlin's 'Angel' the whole room was transfixed. No one spoke, no one moved and even as a memory, it gives me goosebumps. Later in the night, one of our singers even had me convinced that Evanescence produced at least one decent song.

Tonight is a friend's birthday dinner, and a norae bang sesh is definitely on the cards, as well it should be. With a new group of folk, it will no doubt be different from last weekend, but here's hoping it's another corker. Happy Birthday Mark! :)

But I didn't pray to him I promise!

2010-08-17T10:11:00.000-07:00

My favorite 3rd graders have been learning about jobs recently. Today, our target vocabulary included 'pop idol'. Actually very easy to teach since 'idol' is a Konglish word with an almost identical meaning to our current usage of the word. But, never one to shy away from a chance to teach a little etymology, I thought I'd give them some background. Knowing that at least one of them goes to church, I asked if any of them did. Of course its the cutest child. The one I'm going to hide in my suitcase when I leave.

Soooo, I started by saying that in the church, they say you shouldn't pray to anybody except God, and that praying to statues is bad. Of course, throwing the word 'statue' in there didn't help things. A quick brush past that into a hasty "praying to anything that isn't God is bad and 'idol' used to mean things that people prayed to that aren't God. So the old meaning of 'idol' was bad, but now it just means people that other people really like." Our one little church-goer interrupted me to explain that she has seen pop singers but she never prayed to them! Honest! But really! She didn't pray to them!

Well that'll teach me to start launching into unprepared lectures on word origins to the under-10 year olds. Maybe next time we'll stick to bingo and charades. (But no hangman of course :)

We should reduce our computer game time.

2010-07-30T05:00:00.000-07:00

As anyone with even the most passing of acquaintances with Korea will know, this country is nuts about computer games. Sometimes I wonder if the entire economy is run on PC-bangs (smoke-filled computer rooms packed with ardent gamers and cup-ramen) and hagwons (after school academies).

At least one of my students doesn't think it's such a good thing...

I think we should reduce our computer game time.
When we shouldn't (don't) reduce it, our school test score will be lower, and heard parent's are nagging. And when we didn't doing exercize and always playing computer games and eating food, our body will be fatter and fatter. Is it finish? No, when we play computer game time longer, we can get computer poisoning. And our eye become red, so our body will be unhealthy. Do you want to be like this? So, you should reduce your computergame times.

That's me told then. No more Sims 3. For today.

Accidental Ambassadors

2010-07-25T20:38:00.000-07:00

As the sun came up on Sunday morning, I realised that, even when it bugs the crap out of me, Korea doesn't bother me much anymore. I guess this is the beginning of the end of culture shock.

I've heard plenty of claims here about people who never experienced culture shock, and I can't honestly be anything but envious of that. For all that this is the fourth (or fifth if you count Scotland *^^* ) country I've lived in, and I should be used to it by now, Korea was, and still is, a shock to the system. The daily frustrations and irritations don't go away, and neither does the feeling of being an outsider. Even my rudimentary Korean skills will continue to surprise Koreans, and I will go on unconciously breaking rules I had no idea existed. But I find it a lot easier to shrug it off now.

I think the hardest thing is something I only just realised last week. Being a foreigner in Korea, a land with such recent exposure to the rest of the world, brings a feeling of responsibility for the public image of all foreigners. Getting off the subway one day last week, I bashed into the back of a little girl and immediately felt terrible. People are unfailingly pushy on subways here, but obviously no one wants to shove into an 8 year old. My first thought was 'Oh no, her mother will think foreigners are such clumsy oafs.' I doubt that she even thought anything of it, but it doesn't stop the initial anxiety: the feeling that one is about to offend and damage a Korean's view of all foreigners.

Without intending to be anything of the sort, I think we all end up being ambassadors. We are still among the early wave of foreigners here, and our behavior does affect how people think of us. I think my feeling that things are easier to deal with is because I feel more at peace about that role. That doesn't mean I never ignore rules of etiquette in public, frankly that would be too hard, but I accept that it is what it is. Some people will think badly of me because I'm a foreigner, and some won't. As my mom always used to say, “You can't change what other people will think.” Even if that movie says you can :)

I will never complain about Scottish weather again.

2010-07-22T21:25:00.000-07:00

In the last week or so, Lacey and I have booked our flights for our end-of-contract trip. I can't even express how excited I am. Non-Korean food! Clothes that fit! No language barrier! For weeks on end! Eeeeeeee! So if anyone will be around Glasgow or Edinburgh between the 20th and 29th of September, let me know – want to catch up with as many folk as possible! That's in between consuming huge amounts of potato scones and Fry's Chocolate Creams mmmmmmmm........

So that means that in between teaching, complaining about the hot weather, and laying semi-comatose under my air-conditioner, I have a lot to do before my contract finishes on September 10th. Visa forms to be completed, an FBI check to arrange (including a rather fruitless trip to the police station) and a place to store my stuff while I'm back home. Oh, and a way to move the stuff I still have stored in Scotland. A small price to pay for such a great year. I have had down days about Korea, I think all expats do, but she's been good to me, and I'm really excited about Busan (and the beaches!) next year. And hopefully a little less time on the subway. :)

A couple of quotes from moody middle-schoolers:

I never start to dance before tomorrow.

I tried studying last year. (I guess it didn't work out...)

And, a 'gloomy' dialogue from Julia in Twinkle class, author of the knitting pirate story. This assignment was very open-ended so I take no credit for any of it!

Characters: Kavin – 15, boy, smart, don't have friend;
Jack – 15, boy, good at sports, don't have father
Setting: At the school. In lunchtime. In cafeteria

Kavin: Today, I am again to eat lunch alone. Why don't I have many friends?

Jack: Hello, Kavin? Why does you eat alone? Can I sit here?

Kavin: Oh, Yes. I always welcom! Friends are hate me. I eat everyday alone.

Jack: That's to bad. It's secret. I don't have my father. He die to some car accident.

Kavin: Really? Oh...

(They're crying)

Jack: So, I want to make many friends. They can make me fun. Do you want to me to friend?

Kavin: Yes I want.

Jack: Good! Now we're friend!!

The Pervs are OK

2010-07-15T05:26:00.000-07:00

So my rowdiest middle-school class were talking about their Korean teacher in class today. I have shared quite a few classes with their teacher over my time here, and I know her to be kind and popular with the students. Still, I wasn't surprised these guys were saying that she is very strict and always hits them. And that (of course!) they are perfect students who never do anything bad to cause this. Then the instigator of the conversation leaned back, put his hands behind his head, and said '변태' (byeon tae), or in English, pervert. He was rather taken aback that I understood the word, and someone else started explaining that the teacher was always touching them for no reason. It was very obvious that they were joking, but my Western sensibilities panicked. This would be serious stuff back home!

So in the break between classes, I asked our Korean manager what I should do. She chuckled, and said I should just let the teacher know, and she could deal with them. So, right before the next class, I did. When some of the other students realised what was happening, the boy in question ran into the hall and threw himself on the floor in a hugely entertaining display of humility.

It seems that in Korean, calling your teacher a pervert is just part of the usual banter. Glad to have that one cleared up.

A Heartfelt Apology

2010-07-13T04:44:00.000-07:00

Today, one of my cheekiest third graders drew a picture of me and another teacher and wrote 'They are kissing'. Suffice to say, we are not kissing. When I asked her to leave the classroom, she refused. Instead of attempting to drag her out, I went for guilt and told her that it made me sad and upset. (She wouldn't understand 'I'm disappointed in you' quite yet.) I thought she would run away after class, but she came upstairs for her punishment: completion of a rather well-designed discipline sheet.

What did you do? I do on paper. I drawing.

Why did you do that? Because I'm boring.

Is your behavior good or bad? Why do you think so? bad. Because I didn't do study.

If you do the same thing again, what punishment should you get? I will have another homework make ten sentences.

To your teacher,

To teacher. I'm sorry. Because you will sad. But I'm only playing. Sorry to study. But I'm boring to study for long time. and I did a lie. So next day don't sad at me. I will good at you.

ByeBye
from Sally

Before I forget to remember

2010-07-11T21:51:00.000-07:00

As an English teacher and resident of Korea, one sees and hears amusing things pretty much daily. Here's some recent highlights:

Adult student asking what the difference is between 'sheet' and 'sheet' – you know, s-h-e-e-t and s-h-i-t.

Middle school student asking why 'motherfather' is a swear word.

Respectable middle-aged lady wearing a t-shirt that said “I love my hooker”.

Adult student explaining that she thinks drizzle is 'so romantic'. I guess rain has different meanings for different people.

My Korean tutor asking in a text message for my “girl (couple) friend's phone number”.

Two elementary students hiding in a balcony outside the classroom. They climbed through a gap about 8 inches wide to do so. Healthy and Safety?....in Korea? Hmmmm...

And an excellent story from another elementary student. The task was to write about a pirate who loves to knit, but she made it so much more creative than that:

In a ocean there is one ship. The ship, it is pirate ship. But there are very quiet. That time flow out beautiful song in pirate ship. We are surprize and go to nearby the ship. We are suprize one more time! because pirate knit sit on the chair. They see we, they're stand up and say “Welcome to pirate ship!” They bring some food and some drink. One pirate come to me and whisper “Help me please. Chief very love knit, so we're knit too. You convince my chief.”

We're going to the chief room. In room chief knit very beautiful cloth. We say “Why do you love knit?” he answer “It's beautiful” and “It make my hand doesn't steal the other person's thing.” We agree his answer and come out his room. We tell chief's mind. They're agree too so we're leave pirate ship.

Climbing, K-style

2010-06-29T19:20:00.000-07:00

After work last night, Lacey and I went to the local climbing gym in Siji for some much needed exercise. We used to go in the mornings (well, lunchtime, but that's morning for us) but schedule changes have made that impossible for the last couple of months. Even though it meant a very delayed dinner, going in the evening meant we actually got to meet some of the local climbers and see them in action. Chubby beer-swillers they are not. Well, maybe not the beer part...

Koreans never do anything by halves. Studying, hiking, golf, drinking, school testing...it seems everything is taken further and faster than back in the slow-moving West. When a Korean likes a sport, they practice All the Time, wear all the Right Gear - and they improve quickly. The studying regime, and drinking habits are well known aspects of modern Korean culture, but they fit into a broader context than I first realised.

So I guess it shouldn't be surprising that every one of the 5 or 6 climbers we saw last night was of a standard far above the average climber at Ibrox. I can't say anything about their rope-work as its a bouldering gym (though one guy was practicing clipping in with a rope tied around his waist) but their strength and all-round athleticism certainly is impressive. It reminded me of a training article by Dave MacLeod where he talks about how a lot of climbers are limited simply by being surrounded by climbers of their same level and so they don't feel the need to push themselves. While I'm nowhere near the peak of fitness, I did find myself pushing harder just by having harder climbers in the same gym, something I rarely did during our quiet morning sessions.

But what about 'traditional climbing' and the philosophy that goes with it? I've accepted that I probably can't continue my apprenticeship in Korea, and I doubt it's something that would even have much meaning here. Nature and wilderness are not revered in the way that they are in the UK, and especially Scotland, so of course the climbing culture is different. While I can't imagine sport-climbing beating the elation of completing a gruelling multi-pitch climb on the Cuillin Ridge, it was a fantastic way to spend a week in El Chorro. And indoor climbing, despite its limitations, undeniably builds fitness and strength.

As we were leaving last night, our new friends told us to come back soon. And drink some beers. While climbing. Oh Korea :)

Got canned heat in my heels tonight

2010-06-19T20:11:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it's hard to choose the best moment of the night. Was it dancing like a broken doll to Lady Gaga's opus 'Bad Romance'? Eating vegan chocolate cake with a wickedly creamy filling? Watching Lacey jump around a nearly deserted dancefloor and wondering what ever happened to Jamiroquai? Or sitting on the kerb outside the biggest foreigner bar while all of Daegu's colourful characters came out to play?

Last night was one for the books for sure. Our friend Cat had her 30^th birthday celebration, starting at Daegu's most fabulous French and Mediterranean restaurant, Dijon. Due to budgetary restrictions, Lacey and I were restrained in our ordering, but the food was delicious and the chat was lively. We moved on our favorite home of drinks in bags to start some dancing, which went on for lord knows how long. When we thought we lost everyone, we wandered upstairs and meandered towards another bar and the kebab shop. (Yes, Daegu has a kebab shop now. All the comforts of home.) Then we heard that a dance party with a group of gay guys was underway back at Gogo, and so returned to catch the tail end, and close the bar with whatever music we wanted for the next half hour. Lacey and I were regulars at Gogo when it first opened, and before it got really popular, so it was like old times to take control of the music and dancefloor again.

We then went to sit on the kerb outside Thursday Party: the best spot to watch the madness unfold. We met an Irish girl with her leg in a cast who told us the story of each ankle: the bandaged one was pretty boring, but the other was broken by moonwalking. A smiley Korean guy who just finished his military service sipped water next to us until he'd recovered enough to return inside. A GI joined us for a while, and asked if maybe we would be going back to his hotel, but seemed unperturbed when we declined. And a usually friendly girl threw her beer on a guy who probably deserved it. Eventually it was time to be driven home by a pleasingly sober taxi driver.

Animals in Korea

2010-05-16T21:01:00.000-07:00

A while ago, Lacey and I went on a dog walk with the local dog and cat shelter. The experience was both fun, and emotionally draining. We haven't been back, and I'm honestly not sure that I want to - and I say that as someone who loves taking dogs for a walk. One of the things about Korean culture that I just can't accept is the attitude towards animals. I don't know what underlies this way of thinking, nor can I describe it, so I'll just say that I feel a little queasy when my students tell me that 'all animals are dirty'. This weekend, my friend and co-worker, Mark, went on another dog walk. I think he sums it up better than I can.

In other news, my parents will arrive in Daegu tomorrow! I know I never update this, so maybe their arrival will spur me on to write something soon... Hope everyone is having a lovely spring!

Gaysplosion!

2010-04-18T21:04:00.000-07:00

When we were about 13, my friends and I started going shopping (without parents!) in Leicester and later, Birmingham. Even though we mostly spent our time in Topshop and Miss Selfridge, the real draw for me was the excitement of being in a bustling, noisy city. Compared to the suburbs, Leicester was a thrilling assault to the senses, and I loved everything about it. As I'm sure most of you know, Leicester and Birmingham are two of the most multi-racial cities in the UK, and both are heading for so-called 'minority-majority' status. So from the very beginning, I thought of cities as melting pots. Years later, when I moved to Edinburgh, I remember being surprised at how white it is: 'sameness' just isn't a word I associate with cities. Unsurprising then, that Glasgow felt more comfortable to me.

Daegu is certainly more like Edinburgh than Glasgow: its a Conservative city, as well as a conservative one. I knew this before I moved here but, like most things I 'knew' before I came to Korea, it took me a long time to actually understand it. Most of the time it's no big deal, and the high concentration of teachers in Siji sometimes masks it, but any visit to Seoul is an immediate reminder of what a truly cosmopolitan city feels like. Rather like the trip to Japan, I'm amazed at how somewhere so foreign can feel so comfortable and normal just by encompassing different cultures. Sometimes all it takes is hearing people speak Arabic, and being able to buy couscous and vegan cookies to feel at home. Oh, and the gay bars help too. I almost forgot about those.

There's an area in Itaewon (the foreigner district of Seoul) known as 'homo hill'. The bars are small, the sound systems suck, and the drinks are overpriced, but there's no denying the fabulousness. While dithering over which bar was best, we were beckoned into one by a giant of a man wearing exquisitely applied make-up. He immediately asked if we were 'lejbian' and informed us that he was 'super bottom'. He then started his own 'booking club'* by getting all the girls to sit together, and telling everyone to talk. Luckily, the Koreans we sat with were very friendly, and one of them was an English teacher so helped translate. The conversation was certainly enlightening for foreigners and Koreans alike about the differences in gay-cultue. They were astounded that all of our famillies knew about us dating girls, while our jaws dropped when our translator told us she was married to a gay man, and hopes to be able to live with her girlfriend 'in a year or three'.

By then, the dancefloor was calling, so we relocated to one of the nightclubs. Koreans don't ever really do 'playing it cool', and they LOVED the music (100% K-pop of course). By the time we left, there really was a gaysplosion outisde: the hill was packed with happy queens of every color. I guess I used to think gay bars were all seedy and meat-market-y, and while I'm sure some of them must be, so far it's been the opposite: the atmosphere is more friendly and welcoming than in most 'straight' bars and clubs.

*'Booking clubs' or 'nightclubs' are bars where men pay for women to sit with them and chat.

What about me? I don't think both are right.

2010-04-08T00:00:00.000-07:00

About a month ago I lost one of my favourite classes, and I started a rather sentimental post about them. Then after only a few weeks, I got the class back again, so no need for mawkishness! I will simply say that I am way too maternal about one little girl with awful spelling whose cuteness is just too much to bear. Here's her writing about 'Life on Mars'.

Mark (Mars)

Diray

0/00/0 day

I want to the Mark that people looks like opcatos (octopus). They so kind. They eat same our's food. That city like our's city They just different face. The big mart is F-mart I eat a suger Every people is eat suger or drank water It's so tasty. That is so cold. It's -40C but Mark people is not cold That season is summer thay think It's so hot. because The Mark is far to sun then our's star.

Another student who left a while ago is from the other end of the spectrum in a lot of ways. Roger is an awkward teenager and he's a bit of an odd duck, but he was a great character and his writing was always very creative and interesting. I can't remember the exact assignment for this one - something to do with words that are difficult to define - but some background info is needed. All middle-school students in Korea have the same hair cuts: girls have a chin-length bob and straight cut fringe, and boys have short hair. Short hair for boys seems pretty normal I guess, but the average boyband looks like this:

So the end of elementary school is pretty traumatic for some of the boys and their beloved fringes. I doubt Roger was among them, and he must be used to it as he's in his last year of middle-school, but as usual he had his own unique perspective.

There are many students who want to cut their hairs freely. And, also there are many adults who want to cut student's hair short.

Students think that it should be free to cut their hairs freely. In some schools, students grow their hairs, even the techers gave them punishments. They said 'It's my decision, not teacher's' and, 'Can't I grow my hair? Why? It's my hair, my!'

On the other hand, some adults think that students hair should be neat. They sometimes say bad words to students, also they think students who grow their hairs are bullies, and bad students.

Students define that 'grow hair is free' and adults define that 'student's hair should be neat!' What about me? I don't think both are right. I think they should try to understand each other.

Don't you have marijuana?

2010-03-02T01:11:00.000-08:00

I guess I should expect this question from immigration officials. I do still have that Dutch residence permit in my passport after all.

So, Japan. Wow. Everyone said it was amazing, but wow. I think I'm in love. It's not like Korea – it's better. The people are more polite: they don't drive like maniacs, or push in front of you, or gawp at foreigners, and they just seem awfully happy. And the buildings look different from each other, and the trees are not all the same, and everything is pretty and the food is marvellous and I want to live in Nagasaki.

Having said all that, on my walk home this afternoon, I remembered what I love about my adopted home. Korea might be a whiny little so-and-so with an awfully big chip on her shoulder, but she has her charms, and I hope I'm forgiven for my fling with Japan. Because I can't promise I won't stray again.

I guess the first thing Lacey and I noticed about Fukuoka was that it felt like home. Japan felt more Western, and more cosmopolitan than Korea. Miracles have happened in the Korean economy, but it is called the 'Hermit Kingdom' for a reason. Fukuoka, and to an even greater degree, Nagasaki, are old port cities, with long-established ties to other cultures. We saw fewer foreigners in both cities than in Daegu, but were stared at much less. There was less English around, but the English we heard and read was more accurate, and somehow communication seemed easier. There were a bunch of Starbucks and various branches of Western clothing stores, but somehow everything was still very Japanese. It felt like Japan has come to terms with its relationship to the West, while Korea still has a rather passive/aggressive thing going on.

Our first day in Fukuoka was exhausting. We got free 15-minute full-body massages from armchairs, window-shopped in a big Vegas-style shopping mall with a canal, took a detour along the river to walk by the famous ramen food stalls, got rained on and lost looking for a place to eat, and finally sat our tired selves down at the counter of a sushi restaurant. I know its obvious that freshly made sushi, in Japan, would be more delicious than anywhere else, but this really was superb. There were a couple slightly weirder ones, but I thought all the seafood was delicious, and I couldn't get over how tasty the rice was. Then, however, came the giant egg-fest. This was basically a large cube of cold omelette stuffed with a little rice. Despite recent adjustments of palate, I still don't love egg, and it was just too much for me. I struggled it down, and only retched once, but my efforts did not go unnoticed by the chefs, and caused quite a lot of merriment. I explained that I just wasn't keen on egg, and Lacey ate my second piece, so we all left happy. Oh, and this was all served with fish-head soup. I didn't spot that it was actually a head until I'd almost finished, which I'm rather relieved about, because I might have freaked out and not eaten something delicious.

Second day was Nagasaki, my new favorite city. The atom bomb was dropped on a neighbourhoood called Urakami to the north of the city's centre, and there's now a large park and museum there. The museum was emotionally draining (how could it not be?), but not heavy-handed, and somehow the city has taken something positive from something so horrific. By the time we got back to the city centre, we thought it was too late to see the temples, but no, we were in for quite the treat. Turns out Nagasaki was having its annual Lantern Festival, and the temples were therefore open late – and Sofujuki even had free entrance! So not only did we see the temple, we saw it by lantern light for free. Oh, and a very cute Japanese lady gave us rice dumplings stuffed with sweet sesame paste.

Yesterday started a little later, as we'd done so much walking and needed a rest. We tried to find a 1950s style diner for breakfast, but were informed by a very friendly businessman that it had gone bankrupt. He then walked us to a nearby Italian bistro. From there it was a pleasant stroll to the Fukuoka Asian Art Museum. Another excellent museum with well laid-out exhibitions and interesting stuff to see. My favourite piece was an interactive video piece where you could control a group of girls in military clothes (all actually the artist) – political, accessible and fun. My kind of art. The afternoon was saved for shopping and spending the last of our yen, but having found ourselves surrounded by adorable but unaffordable clothes, we went for noodles instead. Fukuoka is famous for its pork ramen, and we went to a restaurant we'd seen with people queue in the rain for. We chose the one described as having the elusive 'umami' flavor, and I was absolutely blown away: Wagamama this was not. The last of our yen, or so we thought, went on beers. I feel like I always try to buy things like clothes, and end up just eating and drinking delicious things instead.

When we got to the ferry terminal this morning, we found out that the fuel surcharge is actually only 1,000yen, instead of 10,000yen. Another happy surprise to top off a stupendous weekend. Here are some pictures.

Konglish phrasebook

2010-02-25T10:34:00.001-08:00

cunning = cheating, copying
tree's hand = branches
Finishee!!!! = “Teacher, I have completed my work.”
pishee = fish
Dangerous pishee = Judy's favorite animal
leally = really
aaaaashhhhh = “Heavens, I'm not happy about that.”
d-d-o-n-g = always spelled out, poop
yellow water = take a wild guess
Oh your goodness! = creative children using my own verbal ticks against me
teacha = me
momomo = blablabla
very so so = a feeling of strong indifference, a widespread affliction
short-uh tuh-rack-uh = the most important Olympic sport
very terrible = pretty much the worst thing ever
apartuh = apartment
salaryman = businessman, every student's dad's job
crajee = crazy, the funniest word in English
Howbounyou? = And how about you?
Babariman = 'Burberry man' = a flasher wearing a trench coat
bopeepbopeepbopeep = a manic shepherdess, thank you K-pop
sorrysorrysorry = also from a song, never sincere and always found in triplicate
I don't ca-a-a-a-a-are = the worst of the bunch, used in response to any number of questions
Do you wanna die? = “I'm not fond of that idea. Perhaps you might reconsider?”
Gondam = little robot models, reminiscent of 'World of Warcraft'
Jenny eat a maaaany suga = “Jenny is a tad hyperactive today due to candy consumption.”
arabituh = part-time job, no student will ever believe this isn't an English word
nightuh-cuh-lub = a semi-shady establishment where men pay to be seated with women

Korea puts on a show

2010-02-01T10:38:00.000-08:00

I know I'm not the first to observe that Glasgow seems to 'put on a show' for new people: it seems that on your first trip, chances are you will witness something stereotypically Glaswegian, like a fight in the street, or someone waving a bottle of Buckfast. Well, this weekend Korea put on quite the show. There are definite similarities: public alcoholism and black-outs spring to mind, but I've never seen a man walking down the street with a golf club, periodically stopping to practice his swing, anywhere else. The black-out we saw was actually kind of sweet: it seemed the young man in question had started out sitting in a doorway and just laid down for a snooze. His friends had covered him with a coat, and patiently stood guard.

Indeed, Saturday was full of “only in Korea” moments, including one probably-drunk taxi driver, another friendly driver who seemed to have issues with clean things (driving gloves and a dish-cloth over the gear stick), and a karaoke singer who demonstrated a sincerity and unselfconsciousness usually reserved for bathroom mirrors and hairbrushes. Like the man with the golf club, he was totally absorbed in what he was doing, and loving every minute.

But the best part of the 'show' was Sunday evening, at the jjimjilbang. After an afternoon hike, a long overdue visit to the bath-house was in order. Its a big part of the culture here, and the only reason I put it off was the small matter of getting naked in front of bajillions of strangers. Memories of awkward gym-class changing rooms really had me worried, especially given that, as a foreigner, one does get stared at in the street. When one has clothes on. So it was with not a little trepidation that we approached the local bath-house, Worldpia.

Aafter some awkwardness at the front desk, and payment of the entrance fee – a whole 4,500won (about £2.25) - we walked into the changing rooms with our tiny towels and wash bag. Being clothed was actually really awkward: everyone else was naked, so it all made more sense once disrobed. Before soaking in the baths, everyone has to shower, and a lot of people brush their teeth too (in the shower). The shower part was relaxing in itself: the water pressure was fantabulous and doing something so ordinary made the whole thing less intimidating. Plus, it quickly became clear that staring really wasn't going to be an issue. Next was a good soak in the 40ºC bath, followed by an outdoor mineral spa (in an enclosed balcony). While soaking, two young girls next to us consulted for a few minutes, before politely asking where we were from, in very good English. Their teacher should be proud. (Their cuteness was later matched by a little girl who was so animated and serious while talking to herself that it looked like an audition for a K-drama.) We also tried a sauna, but the coolest one, also at 40ºC, was bearable for only a few minutes and a quick dunk in the freezing cold pool was needed to recover.

After so much soaking and steaming, it seemed appropriate to get into the Koreans' favourite bath-time activity: scrubbing the bejeezus out of your skin. This is clearly a crucial part of the jjimjilbang experience and everyone gets into it: mothers scrub daughter's backs, grandmothers scrub mother's backs and everyone generally shows serious commitment to the removal of dead skin cells. It really does leave your skin feeling super wonderfully soft.

Dried off, and once again clothed, I left the jjimjilbang feeling like I was in a cosy cocoon. Everything felt a little softer and a little kinder. It really does a person good to spend hours just relaxing with others, and without worrying about what you look like. Without doubt, the best 2 quid I've spent in a long time.

Mrs. Squarepants

2010-01-29T01:28:00.001-08:00

Seeing as how I never update this, and all I do is teach and talk about my students, here's some more of their writing. These are both from a test I gave a while ago to 'Twinkle' class - a lively and bright group of 5th grade girls. A few weeks ago, Jenny stuck a Spongebob sticker on a worksheet about your 'Perfect Husband'. The jokes about her marriage to 'Spongie-bob' have yet to grow old for the students, or indeed their teacher. I think my mental age might have regressed somewhat in Korea.

This first one is from a student who has since left the academy. She was always rather sullen in class, and the Korean teacher described her as moody and dramatic. Put simply, she's an emo kid at the ripe old age of 11. Her writing was often very difficult to understand because she directly translates a lot from Korean, but she is very creative, and always put in a lot of effort. Here's her story about "The beach on a summer day":

I go to the beach on a summer day with my friends. We are play very exciting! In beach, many people play the sand. We use parasol, and we sit our under the parasol. Suddenly, one boat go to the ocean. Many people are screaming. Yes! One person stay at the ocean. Who die, or everyone life together. In beach, very quiet. Who doesn't speaking. After 20 minutes, brave human come to sand with stay water person together. We hit our hands. He is very brave human.

This second one is from my favorite and most adorable student. If I steal a Korean child, she's first on the list. I have added some full-stops to this because she doesn't really use punctuation yet. Her story is about "An old attic at night":

I'm went to my grandparent's house. That house have old attic. I'm seelped at grandparent's house with only sister I woke up and sister woke up too. We went to old attic because we are hungried. There are so many food. We were ate this. We came back and sleep. Next day we wake up and we are very full. My grandmother know the we ate old attic food. I'm looked my grandmother. She smiled.

A successful teacher?

2010-01-11T19:20:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I had one of my classes write questions to interview each other. One pair used 'What job do you want to do?' So I overheard little Brenda (E5) saying she was going to be a 'successful teacher':

Me: Ok Brenda, what do you mean by 'successful'?

Brenda: Good.

Me: So what is a successful teacher? Am I a successful teacher?

[pause]

Brenda: A little, teacher.

[much giggling from both of us]

Me: Ok Brenda, what does successful mean?

[more giggling]

Brenda: Students can understand teacher every word.

Lesson learned: Don't ask students questions like this. They actually tell you what they think. Glad to have learned that lesson with the cute little ones, rather than the awkward middle-schoolers.

Eventually I will post some photos from Christmas. But now, its time for work.

Santa, do you like red clothes or rainbow clothes?

2009-12-22T08:38:00.000-08:00

So I know I just posted an entry last night, but I wanted to share these. Here is some of the cutest/best writing I've had so far. I haven't edited at all - this is exactly how these pieces were written.

Cutest santa letter so far:

Hello, Santa. I'm Sally. I'm 15 years old. I am NoByeun middle school student. I am quiet. I can't shout loudly. So I want loud voice and brave. I cannot talk to everyone. My dream is elementary school teacher so I need to brave and loud noise. Santa, please help me. ^-^ Santa, I believe you live Santa country. Come back my house again and give me brave and loud voice.

Santa, Merry Christmas

Also adorable - from a little girl who used to grab my arm every lesson and say 'My teacher arm is always big':

Merry Christmas Santa.
My name is Sarah
What is your real name?
Do you like red clothes or rainbow clothes?
I want see your Rudolph.
And Santa I want a magic lamp, i-phone and money.
Santa Clause please give them.
Because I want have that.
Santa one years. I'm fight my drother, mom, father, children and my friend. Santa I promise a not fight and good next year.
Merry Christmas!! Oh! and I want a pet~
bye~ Santa

Sarah

An old story from one of my favourite elementary students, Jenny. This girl is pretty much always this funny:

Long time ago, there is very strong girl. Her is Jenny. She fight with cow and elephant and rhinoceros, but one elephant is her friends. She was cut the hair, so elephant don't know who are Jenny! Oh my god! She fight with him, but........... She went to the sky with elephant.

And possibly the best, most original piece I've had from a middle-school student I only taught 3 times. I asked them to pretend that their father had brought a dinosaur egg back as a gift from a business trip, and the assignment was to write about how to look after it.

It's impossible present for 21C people, except almighty god. Anyway, you want to have a Tyrannosaurus for your huge pet or fierce emergency food. First, you should change temperature hotter and hotter. The dinosaur egg is bigger than your body. So you must protect his warmth with big fire and blanket like a hen hold her eggs. Then you should make friends in the neighborhood of him. Once upon a time, dinosaurs' mom arranged their eggs like circle. So you had better make circle with your egg and toy eggs. Your egg feel comfortable. At last, you have to talk to him. It's very important point for you. If you don't tame him, he punches your notse when he hatches. Everyday you touch his egg shell, talk about politics, economy, literature, etc. Finally you greet him with a good-night-kiss. Few months later, you can meet your huge friend.

This is prolly my awesomes shirt

2009-12-21T10:16:00.000-08:00

An entry on Korean is well overdue. Last Saturday the weekly class at the YMCA finished, and while I'm far from being able to hold even basic conversations, I have picked up enough to understand why my students struggle so much with basic grammar, spelling and pronunciation: Korean is a wee bit different from English. Obviously I'm a big geek, with a big love for phonology, but I will try to keep this light and non-techincal. Well, I'll settle for 'decipherable'.

Let's start with the pronunciation. Of course this is my favourite thing. In brief, syllables can have at most consonant-vowel-consonant. The final consonant can only be l, m, n, ng, p, t or k. To put this in perspective, English allows up to three consonant sounds at the beginning AND end of a syllable (e.g. 'strengths'). Also, they don't have any fricatives (long consonants) except s – so that's no z, f, v, or th sounds – or diphthongs.

In case you're thinking this means Korean is easy to pronounce, you are very wrong. They have a 'j' sound that is not voiced (making it sound more like a 'ch' to us), plus a geminate (double) 'j/ch' sound AND an aspirated 'ch' sound. The same pattern exists for the 'b/p' sound. I could happily study the differences between these sounds, but I find it extremely hard to hear, or produce, correctly. Many of the vowels are also nightmarishly similar to each other for English speakers.

Hopefully you can now see a little why when they write 'Matrix' in Korean, it comes out as 'Ma-tuh-rik-suh'. The 's' sound is also sort of between the English 's' and 'sh' sounds, so sometimes things sound a little lispy to an English ear. All of this leads to the peak of accidentally offensive Konglish: the 'shitty joo' instead of 'city zoo'. It also explains why I experience ridiculous levels of mishearing on a daily basis – snake vs. snack being a common, and often amusing, example. Getting the kids to say 'watched' (instead of 'watch-i-duh') is one of my favourite activities: my little ones are even starting to get it.

The grammar is also very very different, though my understanding of it is much more basic. I know that the verb comes last, even though I always forget that when I try to speak. And I know that most adjectives are actually verbs, in terms of grammar. So their word for 'tall' is actually a verb meaning 'is tall'. Realising this was so helpful for understanding my students' writing. Beyond that, I don't know much at all, but I'm sure the fundamental differences only get bigger with more study, given the sentences produced by even advanced-level English learners.

After trying to get my head round this stuff enough to actually make a few Korean sentences, and understand people, I have concluded that language is all about lines. In my head, Language looks like a colourful, messy blob, consisting of the full spectrum of what is possible. Each language carves up this space into meaningful units; and learning a new language means redrawing those lines.* When you learn another European language, the lines match up relatively often – with Korean it sometimes feels like they never do. You have to approach every new piece of information with as blank a slate as you can, and try to remember that the shape of your own language is far from the only way. I know this idea isn't ground-breaking, but even Arabic wasn't as challenging to my poor mono-lingual brain as Korean, and I feel like I am just now gaining a full appreciation for what my professors were on about when they talked about defining the boundaries of 'possible Language'.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, the title is prolly the awesomes slogan I've seen on a t-shirt. More on Konglish another time.

* Vowels are probably the most concrete example: you can produce an infinite range of vowels phonetically, but to make any of them meaningful in speech, you have to define the boundaries that separate one vowel from another. Word meaning is also pretty easy to understand in this way if you imagine 'meaning' as space that is divided by words. Sentence meaning and syntax always hurt my head with their messiness, which makes both seem extra blobby in a vague and ill-defined sort of way.

Going native...

2009-12-14T10:24:00.000-08:00

I've started to notice recently that I am, somewhat unsurprisingly, changing to fit Korea better. A few things I really didn't think would happen:

1. I like drinking hot water - I used to think this was the weirdest thing, but it just makes more sense to drink a glass of hot water when its cold outside.
2. I suck my teeth when I'm thinking – They do this all the time. I've started doing it too. It's not attractive. I also do the whiny nasal 'aa-aa-aaaaaah' sound and nod my head vigourously when I understand something. Again, not exactly fetching.
3. I'm obsessed with cute things – My (always faulty) cheese filter is gone. No trace is left. I love the cute-ness. The kids, the socks, the stationery: I love all of it.
4. I like heated toilet seats – I was vehemently opposed to this at first, but then its like 'Damn this bathroom is cold, and this seat is so toasty. Nice.'
5. I don't have a heart attack when scooters try to mow me down – They zoom about and everyone ignores them. Especially my heroes: the ajummas.
6. I may not be able to live without kimchi – I'm not alone in this: last Saturday, after hours of dancing, four of us waygook girls managed to polish off a plate of the delectable fermented cabbage in approximately 45 seconds.

Thought I'd also share one of the funniest classroom moments so far:

Me – Have you heard of Lady Gaga?
Lizzie – Teacher wait.
(Looks up a word in her phone dictionary)
Lizzie – Teacher, she is my idol.

Damn that kid – that might have been the only fully grammatical sentence she ever produced in my class.

...plus c'est la même chose

2009-11-23T21:47:00.000-08:00

Birthday What with my birthday being so close to Halloween, and one of my friends here having a birthday the same week, it seemed only right to have a joint birthday night out the following weekend, thus allowing me to convince myself I had a week long birthday!

Sunday afternoon I went to a climbing competition at Palgongsan with Cat and Simon (who have a car....woo!) and Anne (who has good chat...woo!). I'd never actually seen a climbing competition before, and it was really good fun. The audience reactions were wonderful: more than one person shouted 'Nice-uh!' and generally got really into cheering the climbers on through the difficult sections. Palgongsan is also insanely beautiful: 'san' means mountain, so while the climbing was on an artificial wall, we were surrounded by mountainous views. And this being a Korean mountain, there was an impressive temple nearby too. Possibly even more entertaining than the climbing was the sight of a huge crowd of people listening to a truly bizarre selection of songs played in a jazz-pop style in the courtyard of the main temple. Oh Korea. (For Facebookers, Simon's put up an album of photos from this little daytrip - I am tagged in one photo so if you are my friend, you can click it and see the whole album. If you are not my friend I'm not sure what to suggest.)

Sunday night was a wee bit more relaxing than the madness of Halloween – just had dinner with Lacey, and got my second pair of awesome K-socks adorned with my favourite K-pop singer: G-dragon. (Do watch the video – it's quite marvellous.) I showed my socks to the kids at school on Monday, which got the rapturous squealing I'd expected, and generally had a lovely day at work followed by another lovely dinner at Cat and Simon's house.

The next weekend, Simon and I celebrated our birthdays again. Simon turned 30, so he really is 'ajushi' (old man) now, and I got called 'ajumma' (old lady) more than once. We celebrated all this ageing by eating fresh and simple Italian food and drinking excellent Italian wine at a restaurant run by an actual Italian chef. I'm no longer ashamed that my favourite food in Korea is foreign food. I do like Korean food, but its quite samey, and I'm just not willing to give up eating the food of lots of different countries. Of course, this being a Saturday, we went downtown for some fun and frolics, which included free drinks from our favourite barmen and meeting two birthday twins – one actually of the same vintage (1983 was a very good year). We finished off the night by belting out Alanis Morrissette at a noraebang. The next afternoon a few of us went to Hami Mami's for a breakfast buffet, and a cafe with English language magazines. A relaxing end to a very happy birthday week.

Seoul Again. Last weekend, Lacey and I headed up to Seoul for some shopping and sightseeing. We stayed in a 'love motel' in Sinchon the first night, and I now understand why people get a bit cagey about these – the one I stayed in my first weekend in Busan was absolutely fine, but this one was, well, pretty gross. We also learned that staying more than one night in a love motel is rather expensive. Because they rent those rooms out during the day. Ew.

So we moved to a much nicer hotel in Itaewon (the foreigner district) for the next two nights. I didn't like Itaewon last time, and it is still unsettling to be surrounded by so many non-Koreans, but after 3 months, a trip to the international food mart and book store were even more welcome, as was the Mexican and Arabic food. Actually, I think the eating might be the best thing about Itaewon. The Arab restaurant deserves special mention: we met fellow Sijans, Lia and Abby, there for lunch, and were the only white girls there. Most of the other customers were middle eastern men, and the owner seemed a little taken aback that four white girls would go so crazy for a buffet including hummus and falafel. We were politely, if awkwardly, informed that it was rude in Arab culture to waste any food, so we were to eat everything on our plates. This we promptly did. Twice.

We also found time to spend an obscene amount of time in Forever 21, drink some real beer in a brew-pub south of the river (while watching a Korean version of 'Cheaters' on the projector screen), and visit the Leeum Samsung Art Museum. The museum was really brilliant - I don't know why I only manage to go to art museums when I'm abroad because I always like it. They had a gallery of ancient Buddhist carvings and pottery and another two galleries of modern Korean and Western art. My favourite of the Korean paintings was a giant black velvet canvas, with a traditional Korean landscape picked out in diamante. It seemed to sum up Korea awfully well, though I certainly wouldn't want such a tacky thing in my livingroom.

Plus ça change

2009-11-19T11:37:00.000-08:00

Just so you know, I ate cheerios with chocolate sauce for breakfast, and listened to girly folky country music. Then I was late for work. Just so you know some things never change.

So I thought I should do some kind of update on the last almost two months, so here are the highlights from October.

Busan is the second (or third. Damn you Incheon!) city of Korea, and we went to see the fireworks extravaganza they had to celebrate the end of their international film festival. This was the second time I've been to Busan with the intention of meeting up with other people who went on a different train, and the second time I've failed. It seems to be a black hole where fun things happen and people get very lost. Luckily, we were quite the merry troop on our own, and all the stress of getting from the train station to the beach melted away immediately that the first rockets went up. We'd spent a good couple of hours fighting through the biggest crowd I've ever been in, and settled for a slightly blocked view, but within about 10 seconds we all looked at each other and acknowledged that it had absolutely been worth it. There were all kinds of new fancy fireworks I've never seen, and tons that were just plain bigger than anything I've seen before. Definitely some very pretty bombs.

Of course that was only the beginning of a stupendous night out that included standing in the sea, having our photos taken with three little Korean girls who were very excited to speak some English, being told repeatedly by the barmaid in a soju hof that we were all 'very cute-uh' and 'sexygirl' (it definitely sounded like one word when she said it), hanging out with some Korean students (who thought I was younger than I am....oh Korea, thank you), and running to catch the first train back to Daegu 5am. Good times indeed.

Fish feet One of our post-Korean class wanderings included a trip to a very unusual cafe in Daegu where you can stick your feet in a fish tank. And the little fishies eat the dead skin off your feet. The cafe itself is a lovely place to chill out (even if the only English language book was 'Eats Shoots and Leaves') and the non-lactose-intolerant among us tucked into the all-you-can-eat supplies of toast and other baked goods. The fish thing is quite a strange sensation, and you could definitely feel when one of the bigger ones was chomping away at your foot. Overall, it was ticklish and funny, if rather ineffective at making your feet soft or lovely. Later that night I had a kettle thrown at my head by an angry English hooligan type. It was quite an eventful day.

Halloween was as ridiculous as I thought it might be. Every foreigner in town gets dressed up, and the Koreans stare at this bizarre activity. On the 5 minute walk from the subway station, we got four 'wow!'s and one 'assah!' (a Korean exclamation – means something like 'woop'). I think this had very little to do with my somewhat homemade 'zombie climber' outfit, and more to do with the 'goth from clockwork orange' and 'hamburgler' I went out with. It took a good bit of chat with fellow revellers (and looking through facebook albums!) in the next few days to put together the whole night because we kept running between places and chatting with, well, with everyone. Suffice to say, it was awesome and crazy in the best way.

Redressing the balance

2009-11-17T10:16:00.000-08:00

While looking for something non-work related to read this evening, I stumbled across a blog written by a Daegu expat who I met a few weeks ago. The blog is extremely vitriolic, and while the views expressed have clearly been thought through, it didn't sit well with me. Put simply, there were lengthy discussions of racism in Korea, and the general bad treatment foreigners receive here. I'm not going to wade in on any big debates because I've only been here a short time, but it made me want to share my own very positive experiences of Korea, just to set the balance right in my own little corner of the universe. So here's my top five moments in no particular order:

The moment my rowdiest middle school boys looked up the word 'cheeky' in their electronic dictionary. They could not have been more entertained that a teacher would call them 'impertinent'. These are the same kids who named 'Jen Monster' as the most scary Halloween character. They are probably my most fun group to teach, though I doubt much learning goes on in that classroom.

Having my bag pulled out of my hands on the subway, and then being pulled into a seat next to an ajumma. This one requires some explanation: the red line subway in Daegu has a high proportion of older passengers. They are of course more traditional, and they don't like to see a person standing up and holding a heavy bag. So having got up to allow an older lady to sit down, a gentleman across the way promptly grabbed my bag from me and perched it on his lap. Once he'd left, the lady next to him pulled on my jacket to make me sit next to her. She then smiled at me and looked generally pleased until we left.

Being given a Korean name. Having learned that some expats are given a Korean name, I was very keen to have one. So I asked our favourite barmen at Go Go Vinyl to name me. They said they would think about it, and when we wobbled past later that night, they said they'd come up with one: 최 미 나 (Che Mi Na). I know I'm easily pleased, but it definitely made me smile.

How are you today? Every day I ask my students how they are, and they have to give me a reason why. The little ones often say something like 'I'm really really very very always always much-i much-i... terrible... becau-juh... many school homework-uh.' Last week it rained pretty heavily, which doesn't happen much at this time of year. So when I asked one of my favourite elementary students 'How are you today, Sally?' she answered 'Today teacher, I am dirty.' Turns out rain is dirty. Who knew?

The moment an ajumma apologised to me. I have been shushed on the KTX (high speed) trains more times than I can count. They like trains to be quiet here, and my voice just carries. On an early morning train back to Daegu from Busan, an older lady shushed me after I'd spoken on the phone for only a few moments in my best 'indoor voice'. I then grumbled to my friend that it was completely ridiculous when I really hadn't been noisy. A few moments later she stood up, looked me square in the eye and said 'I'm sorry sister'. Oh my. I said it was ok of course, and made sure to smile and bow politely when I got off the train, but I was really confused by this whole encounter. I asked a friend about it and she said that using family terms to address strangers is common in Korea, but usually it corresponds to the relative age, so an older person wouldn't normally call me 'sister'. Maybe it was a mistranslation, but it definitely didn't feel like the disrespect we foreigners are supposed to get all the time. It felt like a genuine apology for overstepping the mark. Wherever you are in the world, that's a nice thing.

Happy Halloween!

2009-10-31T01:31:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to take the time right now to do a full post, but I wanted to say Happy Halloween to those at home (and those scattered about too of course!) I hope you all have very scary costumes for tonight's revelry - according to my middle school students, 'Jen Monster' is the most scary monster of all, so I guess dressing up is not necessary for me!

The last couple of weeks has gone by insanely quickly; this last week being mainly taken up with a rotten cold, which is now thankfully improving, and monster-themed lessons. Korea's still exciting, teaching's still wonderful and all is well. I'll post a proper update shortly.

Wish you were here!

Slippers and shuffling

2009-10-14T09:11:00.000-07:00

Things that seem normal after 2 months in Korea:

Extremely wide roads – the street outside my school is 11 lanes wide – literally.

Wearing slippers indoors – this makes you shuffle.

All manner of vehicles on the pavement – from bikes and mopeds to trucks. They not only park on the pavement - they drive on it too.

Cars without colour – white, black, silver and grey. That's about it.

Small children grabbing me (and my earrings) all day long – Ah the joys of elementary students.

Bowing – When in doubt, I bow.

Aloe (as in Vera) juice – holy crap this stuff is tasty!

Chopsticks – even the metal ones.

Patients outside the hospital – in their gowns, often with their IV drip and occasionally smoking too.

Being stared at – not as big an issue as I expected, but it does happen, and it does seem normal-ish now.

Physical contact - I'm no longer surprised when a shop assistant strokes my arm or I see children to play with each other's hair. It's really nice actually.

Babies strapped to their parent's back by a blanket – this seems to be the mode of transport of choice for many a wee one. The parents must have awesome knot-tying skills.

Noisy as all hell mobile phone stores – oh the K-pop. Wonderful on the dancefloor; unnecessary on the street.

That truck that drives around my neighbourhood with megaphones - I gather this is in aid of some business or other. Mainly it is annoying and a little creepy, but now it is normal too.

Two-handed giving/receiving – whenever you hand something to someone, or vice versa, you are supposed to use both hands. Failing which, the other hand should be under your forearm. Sounds cumbersome, but quickly becomes automatic.

Bins full of used toilet paper - I didn't say 'Things that seem nice...'

Awful beer – Hite-uh and Cass-uh are the most common – neither is any good. I am no longer agog with either.

Doors that open outwards – subtle difference, but felt so wrong to begin with.

Jets overhead – we're near an American base so there are a lot of fighter jets flying above Siji.

No bins in the street – This is only a slight exaggeration – yet the streets are still pretty clean.

Phone numbers in car windshields – often cross-stitched and always 'cute', car owners display their phone number so that they can be contacted if the car needs to be moved. I'm told it is also good courtesy to leave the car in neutral in case it needs to be pushed out of the way.

Being surprised – all the freakin' time.

Chuseok in Seoraksan part drei

2009-10-12T09:09:00.000-07:00

Ok, this has gone on long enough. I hope you aren't exhausted by the tales of mountains, so I'll try to be brief and get the photos to look acceptable (me and html are not what you'd call close.)

Day four was indeed a difficult one to start. Mark was first up, and his excellent door knocking skills got the rest of us to the hostel kitchen for a fairly messy attempt at breakfast. Anne was the only one untouched by the evil hand of drink, but we all found ourselves on a bus by 10am. Our view from the hostel window also helped inspire abandonment of duvets.

We wobbled our way to the cable car, and took the alarmingly speedy journey up. The entire trip in the cable car took only 5 minutes, and it was fast enough to make my ears pop (I have a feeling I am rather more sensitive to this than other people...) We'd been reliably informed that you could go up to the top of the hill from there, but every step was agony, and I definitely thought I would not be going any higher. Anne went on ahead to investigate, phoned a mere 10 minutes later to say it really was easy, and so we all made our way up.

The path was indeed easy, but finished up at a little nobble of rock, which looked lovely to scramble on. Indeed it was clearly popular with the dozens of people already swarming over it. It was steep, but by far the most dangerous thing was scrambling in close proximity to so many people who have no idea what they're doing – including a woman in heels. Despite the press of people, those few minutes of scrambling really undid my hangover. On the way down, I was informed through gesture that I really should hold on to the rope else as it was not safe. The 'rope' being rather tatty, attached at only one end, with 5 people already hanging on and swinging it about. I attempted to indicate that my solid hold on the rock was preferable, but the helpful chap still felt that he should grab my shoulder, as I clearly did not know what to do. Oh dear.

After the trip back down, all the excitement inspired Steve to sit in a stone bowl. There was a lot of banter and not a lot of movement for quite some time, but we eventually settled on an easy walk to Biryeon waterfalls after Mark headed back to town to catch his bus home. Steve and George were doing well to avoid their hangovers by way of hair of the dog, and the four of us made quite a motley crew, but we made it safely and merrily to the falls.

Again, my photos do not do justice to this delightful valley, nor can they capture the restorative effect of walking through dappled sunlight in good company. A quick dangle of feet in startlingly cold water was also a real wake up after all the walking (and not quite enough washing...!) We interrupted our tramp back at the two outdoor restaurants for beer and pajeon (Korean potato pancake). There was also a very funny incident involving a Korean understanding rather more English than anticipated. Good times.

Anne and I eventually dragged our tired selves to the bus station and our pimped out express bus. The airconditioning and huge comfy seats were absolute heaven and, after a wee snooze, we woke to find a K-drama playing on the bus tv. Happily, it was the next episode after one we'd seen in the Chinese restaurant the night before. Trying to work out the plot was enormously entertaining - I do believe I've found my favourite programme. Korean dramas make even Sunset Beach look underacted and subtle. Fantastic.

Obviously I am behind again. Obviously I have more thoughts on Korea, and more things I want to write about, but it's a bit much just now. I hope you are all well, and emails to let me know how you are would be most welcome! For those who don't do facebook, get me at jen.wright1983@gmail.com

Chuseok in Seoraksan Part Deux

2009-10-08T09:33:00.001-07:00

Realised after the last post that I had not actually said who was in the group. Oops. I'm still not quite sure about giving names on this thing, but Anne has put up a note on Facebook (I am tagged if you want to read it), and Mark has a blog (with links to many more photos). So there are now three versions of this weekend online! Both Mark and Anne work for Yale, though Anne is based in Jisan. Also with us were two of Mark's football buddies, Steve and George, both English and currently living in Gyeongju. This weekend was the first extended period I've spent in the company of fellow Britishers, and it was nice to revert to my former accent and vocabulary.

Anyhoo, on Saturday, Anne and I enjoyed a well-earned lie-in until almost 11am and a leisurely breakfast in the hostel's adorable kitchen. I don't think I would have left at all were it not for Anne's gentle persuasion. I'm awfully glad we did!

Being sore from the previous day, we decided on a short walk up to Heundeulbawi ('Teetering Rock'), with a possible extension of the walk up to Ulsanbawi. I think the walk was around 3km in total, but again, we had not quite appreciated how steep it would become. Up to Heundeulbawi, the trail was easy and scenic, taking in a walk past the giant Buddha statue and temple and through some woods. The rock itself was smaller than I'd expected, and it does seem improbable that it hasn't yet been knocked off. Anne and I decided that we'd best not try to push it over - I remain convinced that, had we tried, our waegukin strength would have toppled the boulder and ruined everyone else's fun.

There was talk of turning back at this point, but as Anne said, there was no way we were going to ignore the chance to go further 'up'! From this point, the trail gradually became steeper, and legs protested at the further exercise. We thought we were there when we reached the bottom of a large cliff, but no such luck: there were stairs up to the top. I nearly backed out as it felt like a cheater's way up the rock (especially when there were quite a few bolted routes within sight of the steps) but that would have made me even more of a wuss. This was even steeper than the previous day's climb – it was also more exposed and windy – and far more crowded! At the top, we found not only handrails, but a stall selling souvenirs. I'll just let that sink in...we'd climbed metal staircases up a cliff and snaked through gaps in boulders at the top, and there, above all that, was a man with a megaphone selling gold medals. I absolutely had to have one – after the previous day's exertions, getting to the top of Ulsanbawi really felt like an achievement - and 10,000won seemed a reasonable compensation for the chap for hefting the medals up there and engraving them. (It says my name! In Hangeul! Which of course means it says 'Jenipa', but hey, that's as close as it's gonna get.)

Unsurprisingly, a steep metal staircase up a cliff is actually more scary on the way down, but it certainly was quick, and we were soon back in Sokcho enjoying a cheap and tasty bowl of chinese noodles for dinner. (I'm assured that this particular dish is about as common in China as chicken tikka masala is in India.) After so much hiking, an evening of beers seemed in order. Off we trotted to the local foreigner bar where punters can choose whatever tunes they fancy from the laptop in the corner. It was more like a house party than a bar – no bad thing! This was the same place a couple of us checked out on the first night, and the atmosphere both evenings was very friendly. From chatting with the local expats (can you be a local expat?) I think this might have had something to do with living next to a beach AND the most beautiful national park in Korea. If you had to put up with having only one local bar, you'd want it to be this one.

Can you guess what happened in Part Drei? Did our intrepid adventurers overcome the hangovers so obviously coming next? Or did they all hide in their respective duvets all day? Oh the suspense....

Chuseok in Seoraksan, part uno

2009-10-05T11:00:00.000-07:00

Or, for those who can read 한글, “추석 in 설악산”

Done showing off now. Plus, I don't have the handy little stickers on my keyboard to find the Korean letters, so it's kind of time-consuming to type in Hangeul.

So, Chuseok is the Korean Thanksgiving. Every Korean family comes together at the 'big father's house' (this must be a direct translation – it means eldest paternal uncle of the family) to exchange gifts and money and pay respects to their ancestors. There's special food, shops are overrun by gift sets (including artfully displayed tins of spam. I kid you not.) and a great deal of tv is watched. So it's not so different from major holidays in the West really. I've asked all my classes what they did for the holiday: most of them play computer games (not so different from any other weekend!) and said their mothers do a lot of cooking. One student only finished with everything today (the main holiday was on Saturday) because his father is the 'big father' and they have a lot of ancestors. Tough break for the kid – he looked exhausted. Another girl was left at home because she slept in and her parents left without her. I have no idea what to make of that story! I even got a gift from my adult class: a bottle of Blue Nun. Score!

We were lucky to have Thursday off, as that meant we were able to miss most of the infamous Chuseok traffic jams. We set off obscenely early on Thursday morning to catch a bus at 7:10 (AM! A! M!) We chose the 'Intercity Bus-uh' as the 'Express-uh Bus-uh' left from a terminal way on the other side of Daegu. This meant that our journey would take 8 hours in total, in contrast with the speedy return last night, which clocked in at just 4 and a half hours. That being said, the bus was typically comfortable and spacious, and the bus driver was really very nice. If a little unable to drive stick shift, or indeed remember when to reverse. I am becoming accustomed to this sort of thing, but it is always a little more nerve-wracking in such a large vehicle! On the way, Anne and I had a typical Korean stew with some kind of beef and an egg. Yes, a just-barely-coddled egg. I not only ate it - I liked it. I am really beginning to doubt myself about the whole 'I hate egg' thing.

On the way into Sokcho, we passed almost a mile of racks hung with drying squid by the side of the road. Dried seafood seemed to be the town's passion. You'll note the photo of the street lamp decorated with a squid motif. The first afternoon was the only time I really wandered around the town, and the smell of this stuff really did not sit well with me. I try to be open minded about food, but a dried fish split down the middle, with dessicated guts still clinging on? No. Sorry, but eugh. Fortunately, Sokcho is really a nice little seaside town and and we found our way up to a cute little pagoda. This being Korea, a few locals were there hanging out with a bottle of soju. Though it is similar in strength and ridiculously cheap, soju has none of the unpleasant – or underage - connotations of a bottle of Buckfast. I've seen plenty of hammered Koreans, but no aggression so far. They seem to just go for it until their mate has to give them a piggy back home.

Dinner was a simple galbi buffet (as much meat as you can eat for 7,000 won or ₤3.50) followed by an episode of Blackadder and an early night at our cheap and very cheerful hostel. The owner had given us a good chat about what there is to do in the area when we checked in, and confirmed that it was indeed possible to get up Daecheongbong (the highest peak in Seoraksan National Park – and third highest in Korea) in one day. We had unanimously agreed that would be our task for the next day, and planned to leave at 6:20 the next morning.

By some miracle, we all dragged ourselves out of bed before 6am for the second day in a row, and made it to the first bus after a rushed breakfast. Another crazy bus driver made sleep impossible on the way to Osaek, and we were kicked off somewhat further away from the start of the trail than we expected, but we were given English maps at the ranger station, and started our way up before 8am. I was already bloody impressed with us.

The hike to the summit was only 5km, with 1,300m of ascent, and an estimated time of 4 hours. If you've done any walking at all, or indeed any maths, you will have an inkling of how painful those 4 hours were. The three boys in the group quickly zoomed off on their longer, stronger legs, leaving me and Anne to channel the spirit of the Tortoise, and keep going through several pain barriers. Lovely trees and promise of beautiful scenery (and, for me at least, a bagged hill!) provided motivation through several hundred stairs.

I won't delve too deeply into my impressions of Korean hiking just now (lest this post turn into an essay of unwieldy proportions) but it really is not the same as hillwalking in Scotland. This is not wilderness by any stretch of the imagination. There are staircases and walkways everywhere – and swarms of people. People with a crap load of branded hiking gear. As one of our group said, 'Mountains are Korea's catwalks'.

I reached the summit around half an hour after the boys, and Anne was not far behind. The summit itself was actually not that impressive. The views were quite hazy, and we were almost too high to really appreciate the surroundings. We restocked water supplies at the shelter (more like a hostel than a bothy) and began our trek back. As on the ascent, there were hundreds of stairs, which allowed us an easy descent into the valley. The views quickly went from just good to breathtakingly magical. This is not hyperbole: there were many points along the trail where everyone in the group gasped at the scenery. Without wishing to bang on about it, my photos don't nearly capture it, and I have never seen anything quite so majestic and awe-inspiring. It blew the socks off anything I've seen in Scotland – and I do not say that lightly! Oh, and the rock. There was lovely rock everywhere. Like a giant playground of rock just begging to be climbed. I have a feeling I will be back to Seoraksan before this year is done.

After dawdling over photos, we realised that the walk out was much longer than the walk up and we would need to press on if we were to have any chance of getting out before dark. While I did have a head-torch, and the path was good, it was a concern and two of the boys trundled on ahead in an effort to avoid any night-time walking. Mark and I stayed back with Anne to make sure we all got back ok - I was definitely grateful to move a little more slowly by this point! - and we all made it down before sunset.

As well as the views, the other highlight of the hike was that I used a map. Actually, I used two: a trail map in English, and a proper one with contours in Korean. I may not have known where we were at every point, but my directions were accurate when needed, and provided confirmation when we weren't sure. It was a really good feeling to be the one navigating, even if it was just on trails.

After much-needed showers, we headed out for dinner (American this time), and a beer at Sokcho's only foreigner bar, more of which in Part Deux!

Update 3

2009-09-29T20:53:00.000-07:00

Phew. Last one:

Last weekend was a little less hectic. After Korean class number two (I was late again. Shock.) we wandered around downtown again, but this time in the company of my hiking buddy who's been in Daegu for many years. She took us to see the backstreet markets, including 'greymarket' shops (with foreign goods of dubious origin), lots of stalls with second hand electronics, clothes and streetfood. It's really hard to describe places like that, and I'm not enough of a photographer to capture it, but it's really exciting to get into these little areas. In some sections, the stalls/shops were so close together, you were knocking things on both sides. It was fascinating to be so close to Korean life – just by being a foreigner, I usually feel a little arm's length. It seems to me that people are less self-conscious than in the UK/USA - but I keep thinking that could just be my misinterpretation of what I see. I feel like the culture is so different to my own that I can't be sure I'm understanding things correctly. (Not a bad feeling - I just don't think I can draw massive conclusions so quickly!) Again, Lacey has blogged about the after-class wanderings, and she has more photos...

So, that's about it for weekend shenanigans. In other news, I've started going to the local climbing gym, and have discovered how much of a jessie I am (bouldering is hard dammit!), and I have stocked my freezer at Costco. Food in general is getting easier – learning the Korean word for 'milk' (uyu) made me realise I was accidentally eating a lot of dairy – it was even hiding in mandu (my favourite dumplings). I feel soooooo much better now that I'm really dairy free again.

Life here is really starting to feel like 'life' rather than a holiday. It would be hard to overstate how good it feels to be doing this. My brain feels stretched and used in a way that it hasn't for some time and I wander about thinking about linguistic-y geekiness on a regular basis. (For the nerds out there (Hi Ben!) today's epiphany was that I have now studied an SVO language: English, VSO: Arabic and SOV: Korean! (and Dutch, but the verb-second rule muddies the waters somewhat). That's all three major classifications! Yay!) Socially, things are also settling in nicely. It's not as frantic as freshers' week, nor is it as lonely as my year in Utrecht was to begin with. I've found people to hike and climb with, people who want to explore Korea and just about everyone I've met seems to be up for a beer!

Tomorrow morning, we set off for Seoraksan - a national park up in the north east (it's actually above the 38th parallel!) for some hiking and general natural beauty. I'm hoping to get to the top of the highest peak (Daecheongbong), but I'm not sure if we'll make it. The owner of the climbing gym said the best way up is along a rocky ridge (yay!), and from looking at photos online, it sounds amazing. Will try to update sooner next time....

Update 2

2009-09-29T20:27:00.000-07:00

Hiking -

This last weekend had an extra day tagged on (yay for long weekends!) so I went hiking with a fellow Yalie from a different branch. She's been here for many moons longer than I and has hiked quite a bit in the local hills. At her suggestion, we walked from Jisan (her neck of the woods) back to Siji over a lovely ridge. Not having done any serious walking for so long, it was a bit of a shock to the system, but it felt wonderful to blow away some cobwebs.

I did take a bunch of photos that day, but I'll do another post about hiking later. Not enough time now to do it justice!

One of the longest days in history...

The next day, I managed to be late for Korean class after getting lost in the downtown subway station (in my defense, there are 25 exits). I moved up from the most basic class, which means that it is a little too difficult, but I think if I do some studying between classes, I should be ok-ish. I just really didn't want to spend half my time there re-learning the letters.

At the end of the lesson, I was hanging about to let the teacher know that I was a bit newer to Korea than most of the class, when two other girls said the same thing. They also mentioned going to a baseball game so I went for it and asked if I could join them. Thus began an Adventure of Fun-ness. Lacey's already blogged about most of the day (including a slightly blurry snap of the bartender at Go Go Vinyl).

A few things to add... I ate lunch that had egg on it. Yes I scraped most of it off, but I didn't freak out, send it back to the kitchen or go hungry. I am Growing Up.

Baseball is fun to watch with a good crowd, but the game itself is less interesting than I remember... how people have the patience for cricket I cannot imagine.

Nightlife here seems to be aimed at children (drinking out of ziploc bags, sparklers, throwing ice beer glasses at targets, singing your heart out to rubbish pop songs, bubbles). And this is why it is So Much Fun. I have yet to encounter much 'coolness' in the nightlife, and I don't intend to seek it out.

Next day I was pretty knackered, but did manage to join some fellow teachers and their Korean friends for a wee barbeque next to a river near Siji. (Actually, it is kind of on the river, but the rocks are dry enough.) Good, relaxing, times were had by all and the boys even mustered up a little fire. A perfect end to the weekend.

Catch up....

2009-09-24T20:27:00.000-07:00

Ok, so a lot has happened since the Seoul weekend, and another weekend is almost upon us, so I'll try to catch up before Chuseok (Korean equivalent of Thanksgiving – 1-4 Oct).

Daegu International Body Painting Festival -

As soon as I heard this was happening, I knew it was at the top of the to do list. I gather there was a big international competition in Daegu last year, so this year they thought they'd do it again, but the 'international' section was actually just 4 teams (the only girls without strategically placed band-aids), and most of the Korean teams looked to be shy art students with embarrassed models. Obviously we couldn't understand the chat during the presentation, but it was easy to tell that the main presenter was the Korean equivalent of a second-rate cable tv presenter – all shiny hair and forced laughter.

Here are some photos for your delectation...

Sensation Gonzales -

That night, I ran into a couple of local teachers and headed downtown to meet them. On the cards was the last gig by a the above-named local ex-pat cover band (phwoar check out the adjectives on that noun phrase...) after a quick stop at Go Go Vinyl. I think this might be my favourite place in Daegu – they serve dangerously tasty and reasonably priced cocktails in ziploc bags. The real highlight is the service: the two guys that work there dress like nutters (very art-school) and they always ask you to 'TASTE!' when they give you your bag – and once the transaction is complete, they hand you a sparkler. Brilliant! The band was ok too, and the crowd's enthusiasm was so infectious that I soon found myself belting out along with the best of them (I can hear your surprise from here.)

BEACH!!!

Waking up the next morning was far from easy...I very nearly decided that a day in bed was called for. However, I did not come to Korea to hide in my bed. So off we went to Pohang for a day of lounging on the sand. This was my second beach experience in Korea, and probably the last for the season. It was definitely better than Busan: the water was much cleaner and the beach was nearly empty! Yes, despite beautiful weather, and lovely water, Koreans don't go to the beach in September, because It Is Autumn. I cannot possibly complain about this illogical thinking because it gave us a fabulous day!

Who will sa-e-ave your Seoul?

2009-09-16T21:02:00.000-07:00

Another bad pun, yes. It's my blog and I'll use bad song lyrics if I want to. In case you were wondering, it's the self-righteous Jewel song in my head. Anyway, day two probably does not require so much writing, so I'll keep it brief...

First stop for culture was a Renoir exhibit at the Seoul Museum of Art. My buddy warned me that Koreans were a little different in their approach to museums, but I was not quite prepared for the massive queue of people slowly shuffling along – with absolutely no wandering about. Other than another small group of foreigners, we were the only people who stood out of the snake of people, and dotted about. I don't think we got too many dirty looks at least, so that's something. The exhibit itself was also notable, though really not my favourite – everything was a little too 'pretty'. I think this sculpture outside was actually my favourite thing there.

Next up was a palace nearby, and really I think the photos are better placed to describe it. I do love the skyscrapers in the background – there are a few places here where an old roof, or even part of an old roof, is completely swallowed up by modern concrete buildings. Mostly, there are just concrete buildings, so it's always nice to see something old hiding among them. We also caught the 'changing of the guard' – very touristy, but also good fun.

I got Seoul, but I'm not a soldier

2009-09-11T19:59:00.000-07:00

Another writing exercise for the kids is 'Process Writing' – where they practice using 'First, then, next, after that, finally'. So here is the process of our trip to Seoul....

First, I got up very very early on Saturday morning. This was possible due to excitement only, and my newly nocturnal body-clock fought back hard. Nonetheless, three of us Yalies made our way on the delightful KTX train up to Seoul. The KTX takes less than two hours, and is a very civilized way to travel. It's not cheap (over £40 return), but when you think about the time saved, and remember how much the oft-delayed trains of Britain cost, it's definitely worth it.

Next, we located our guesthouse. All that needs to be said about this is that it was a little further out than we'd anticipated and I shall take Lonely Planet recommendations with a pinch of salt in future. Having found it and dropped off our bags, we were all overheated, starving and a little cranky. This being Seoul, we decided to head to Itaewon, the foreigner district, for some home comforts at the American Diner. I do feel a smidge guilty that some of my favourite meals in Korea have been foreign food, but the burger at this place was Awesome. Much better than anything I've had in the UK. The other major selling point of Itaewon is the fantabulous English language bookshop. However, I did find the sensation of being in a majority again (Koreans don't really go to Itaewon) very unsettling. I didn't like it at all actually, and wanted to get back to normal Korea.

After that we hit the shops of Myeongdong. Here, we found overwhelmingly large crowds of Koreans and more raw capitalism than I have ever encountered. The choice of stuff was frankly intimidating, but I dug down deep and found I was able to face down my indecision and indeed, cash was spent. Most of it was in an American store (oh Forever 21, where have you been all my life?), but this is largely attributable to my rather Anglo-Saxon build not being compatible with tiny Korean dress shops.

Next, Insadong. A lovely district where every kind of Korean trinket is sold. If I buy you a souvenir, it will most likely be from here. There was one shop I want to live in – everything was handmade, colourful and Lovely. After all this shopping, we refreshed in one of the many tea-shops. We found ourselves in one which was decorated in the manner of an old-fashioned train, down to the graffiti on the walls, suitcases in racks and old train seats. The dedication to the theme was admirable.

Finally, dinner in Hongik University area. Oh the people watching. I wished I had 360° vision like a frog so I could take it all in. The students here were mental with the clothes, and it seemed like the whole world was out for a stroll and a drink. We just had some cheap dinner in an Orange store (not the phones, but 24-hour eateries) and wandered. While standing outside a little bar which had caught my eye, we were waved in by a rather flamboyantly dressed Korean chap (how I wish I had had the nerve to take a photo...) This bar was the highlight of the whole weekend for me. It was tiny: only 5 small tables and no real 'bar' to speak of, and the 'bartender' appeared to just be a local who also served beer and soju on occasion. The decoration was a arty in a not-too-pretentious way (lego-men!) and the clientèle was primarily Korean student-types. For all the amazingness of this establishment, we were awfully tired so we just enjoyed a couple of beers, and headed back to the guesthouse around 1ish – a very early night by Korean standards!

Thus ended Day One. AKA Day of Consumption. Day Two will follow shortly, and included more culture, and a few more snaps.

How to deal with homesickness

2009-09-09T08:14:00.000-07:00

Things I miss:
People – you know who you are
Glaswegians – I can't understand the banter here so I can't even tell if I'm missing out on great jokes
Stereo cafe – Oh Stereo, my lovely vegan retreat from city life, you have not been replaced in my heart!
Knowing how to cook stuff – I'm just not sure what food to buy, or what to do with it – it's like being a fresher all over again!
Being good at my job – Self-explanatory. I know this will improve with time.
Tatty scones – My number one craving.
Being able to read ingredients lists – Being lactose intolerant, this is quite important! It is improving though.
Living with people – Much as it has got on my nerves in the past, I miss having flatmates.
Whisky – Mmmmmm proper whisky...
My cds - The laptop speakers are crappy and my cd drive appears to have added its own little skips. Thanks for that.
My books - I do have reading material, I just miss my bookshelf full of stuff
A comfy bed – The mattress here is basically the same firmness as the floor.
Scottish mountains – Haven't seen anything quite as inspiring as Torridon, Glen Coe or Skye, but then I haven't really left the cities yet.
Orion Mountaineering Club – The only climbing chat I've had so far is about 'hiking' (i.e. hillwalking up a path with an unnecessary amount of gear). Need to find some proper mountaineers to continue my apprenticeship.

Things I would miss if I had to go home now:
Korean kids – Yes the middle-schoolers are draining, but on the whole, the children here are insanely adorable. And they give me sweets all the time. How can you not love a pint-sized cutie who provides candy??
Teaching – even though I'm a bit rubbish at it, I would really miss getting a whole room of 11 year olds to say 'vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv'
My walk to work – I'm beginning to think people-watching here beats Glasgow. And that is saying something.
Being allowed to be pushy in crowds – everyone does it here – my pushiness is finally socially acceptable!
The crazy-ass buildings – I'm sure the architects here get high a lot. Most buildings are basically cubes, but they go mental with the finishing touches. Cobblestones, bricks and stucco on one house anyone? Nice-uh.
Steamed dumplings – almost stodgy enough to be a Scottish food.
Konglish - beach-i, nice-uh, Teacher Jenniper, joo (instead of 'zoo')...I love it all, and that's just the pronunciation - I can't wait to I figure out all the phonotactic rules. Mmmmmmmm phonology........
Barbecuing your dinner at the table – Such a sociable and fun way to eat.
Korean mountains – Haven't explored enough yet, but they look damned tempting.
Soy bean paste - I still don't know the Korean name for this, but I already know I will be bringing a supply home with me.
Living on my own – Actually, I do quite like never having to wash another person's dishes. And never needing to close the bathroom door.
Shopping – Have only scratched the surface with this, but it is obviously a national pursuit.
Learning Korean - I can read the alphabet pretty quickly now, and I'm really excited about taking lessons.
Not knowing what's going on – It is draining to feel like a dolt for most of the day, and it can be embarrassing when Koreans correct you (they really do that by the way – I've had rice out of my hands because I was eating it wrong!) but I figure my brain is busy working this stuff out. There's definitely some learning going on, and that's always a good feeling.

Ok, I feel much better now. It seems like a good sign that the second list is longer. :)

Gee that camera phone's awful handy

2009-09-03T09:18:00.000-07:00

Not feeling fabulous this evening (don't think the cow-spine soup last night agreed with my delicate Western constitution...) so will comfort myself with some nice photies:

Some local artwork.

Konglish....more on this another time. I am somewhat unsurprisingly captivated by Koreans' take on English.

Major fake plant action in the public toilet in the subway station...in the background you can see a 'squattie'.

Hang on, am I in Malaga??

A more tasteful seaside shot.

Awesome sculpture in the grounds of Daegu's World Cup Stadium. The blurs at the bottom are little kids trying to climb up the slick metal. Definitely some future climbers in that bunch.

My street. Photo taken after my first big night out. If you squint you might notice how crazy the wiring is. Now imagine the horrors of the plumbing...

My lovely livingroom. Nice-uh.

For when I just can't take any more fried meat.

A New Routine

2009-09-01T10:28:00.000-07:00

I've had a couple of groups of students writing about their daily routines, so I'll use this as a chance to practice the present simple tense for habitual actions!

I get up around noon. Yes, that is late, but I went in too work early today as I have new classes - this required me to leave at 2pm. So there is a context. I usually eat cereal with lactose free milk (score!) and an apple for breakfast. Today, there's no cereal so it's mandu (dumplings)...I prefer cereal I must say. I take a shower and apply huge amounts of anti-perspirant before leaving the house. The weather has started to cool off a little, but it's still a bit like walking through a sauna.

Then I pick up a cold coffee at the convenience store downstairs, and walk to work. There are one of two routes: along a wide, but not too busy, street with a tree-lined pavement, or through a series of parks. The latter has superior people-watching opportunities and I wish I could just film some of the sights along this route. Everyday there are lots of people selling things along the side of the road: bowls of vegetables are displayed on the ground and tended by 'ajummas' (old ladies), various market stalls sell street food and some even have fishtanks (live fish for breakfast anyone?) and on the main street by the school, you can buy bras from a display laid on the ground. This afternoon I saw a group of little girls outside their school dressed like tiny little belly dancers and shrieking at the cool breeze.

After a lovely 20 minute walk, I arrive at the school to be greeted by the wonderful WONDERFUL air-conditioning, and fight the kids onto the elevator. The teachers' office is on the seventh floor, and I have my own desk. I fetch my laptop from the cupboard, and plan my day's lessons. Today was a little busier than normal as we have new classes, it's a new month so all the folders need new paperwork, and I am now on a more normal (read: heavier) workload.

When the sing-song bell rings, we all troop down to the classrooms and deliver 45 minutes of scintillating EFL material. The first 3-4 classes are all elementary level, followed by another 3-4 of middle school. Over the course of the week, each teacher has 22-23 classes so we aren't doing the full 6 per day that the contract allows for. Today I had three delightful elementary classes – including one group of 'pre-Yale' (read: tiny) students who are utterly adorable, full of energy and cheeky as can be. While tiring, teaching them is good fun – provided you go in fully armed! Of course it is not all so much fun. The last two of the day were middle-schoolers in the throes of puberty who resent having to study English after school. At least 3 students have now pointed out to me that they should be allowed to speak Korean in the classroom because They Are In Korea. While a valid point, it gets tiresome explaining that it is the best way to learn the language their parents are paying us to teach them. These groups are a handful and it's going to take a hell of a lot of work on my part to make these classrooms even remotely nurturing learning environments!

Teaching finishes between 8:30 and 10:30 depending on schedule, and is usually followed by some food with other teachers. So I don't usually get home until around midnight-ish – and that's just not bedtime now. So I watch some cable tv, waste time on stolen wireless internet, or read a book if I'm feeling old-school. My apartment is definitely home now: all my postcards and my world map (from 1981 – go USSR go!) are on the walls and my little collection of rocks has found a home too (yep, I carried rocks all the way here).

All in all, its a pretty awesome routine, and I'm excited about all the stuff I'm going to add to it to fill in the morning hours and force me to go to bed at a slightly more reasonable time.

A permanent address

2009-08-23T07:39:00.000-07:00

I have one!!!! An address that is where I live – not just where I'm staying for a little while. For the first time since I left the lovely flat in North Kelvinside in May, I live somewhere. Woop! Seems a good time to talk about housing...

I am told Yale teachers have nicer and bigger apartments than is typical. Not having been round other apartments, I can't say for sure, but I am very happy with what I've got. The new flat was recently vacated by a couple who've gone back to Canada, and they've left all sorts of goodies behind (English language magazines! teabags! herbs!!) The living room is really lovely and actually has a view – a real step up from the last one where all the windows looked out onto other walls. Biggest differences compared to home are in the kitchen and bathroom. Counter space does not seem to be very important as neither flat has any – even though there's definitely room for it – which means that the microwave is in the livingroom. I think, traditionally, Koreans would use the floor so maybe that's why. The Korean bathrooms deserve their very own heading...

Bathrooms -
Ok, so I'm going to have to talk about toilets now. Apologies for being uncouth, but it's hard to ignore such a fundamental issue. In the apartments, the toilet itself is normal, but there is no shower cubicle – the whole bathroom becomes your shower. This is actually awesome because you can simply hose down the bathroom to clean it.

Public toilets are sometimes also western-style, but squatting toilets are also common. One bathroom we used in Busan even had a mirror positioned so that you could see yourself when you were squatting to pee! (Koreans are very concerned about appearance, and routinely check themselves out in public) The other, and perhaps more troubling, difference is about loo roll. Apparently there is some kind of issue with plumbing here and loo roll blocks it. So. So all cubicles have a bin. For your loo roll. Yes, there are bins full of loo roll. That does smell pretty much how you think it would. Sorry to be gross, but it's one of the oddest, most foreign things I've come across so far.

Weather -
Not much to say here really, it's pretty constantly hot and soupy outside. It sometimes rains, which brings no relief from the high temperatures. Sometimes there's a little breeze, which is something to be savoured, and last night was actually a nice temperature, but I cannot wait for he weather to cool down. I was not made for this weather, and I finally understand why Mom used to talk about two shower days in Houston. That's being said, everywhere has airconditioning or fans, so it is tolerable. But I actually miss Glasgow's weather at the moment. I cannot believe I just said that.

Koreans -
Ok, after two weeks, I don't have any amazing insights, but I do have first impressions! So far, the only Koreans I've really spoken with are other employees at Yale. I know this makes it seem like I haven't made an effort, but really it is all about the language barrier. I can barely order steamed dumplings, never mind banter with the locals! Everyone I've spoken with have been extremely friendly, generous and welcoming. I have heard a lot of complaints from expats, and you do get stared at sometimes, but I'm going to stick to my own experiences, which have been universally positive so far. For example, after mentioning to another foreign teacher that I had managed to abandon 2 out of my 3 marker pens in classrooms during my first day, the Korean teacher that sits next to me offered me one of hers. A woman gave me a bunch of grapes for free because we'd got in such a muddle about how to buy them. My new landlady sent up her son with fresh tomato juice for me and Hong Jae (our 'Foreign Teachers Liaison' – in other words, a Legend) once we'd got everything upstairs. I don't mean to say that people at home are not generous, but it's really lovely when you're new to a place to have people be so nice to you.

Of course, I have also seen some rather odd sights. Koreans at the beach, for example. They are not like Westerners at the beach. The women generally avoid any kind of sun exposure, so you'll see ladies walking along the sand with long sleeves, gloves, a sun-visor and a scarf tied round their head. Also, the women wear heels All The Time. I was pre-warned of this, but I did not expect to see a mother playing with her child in the surf wearing a skirt and pumps. At one point, the water came up over her feet and left long tendrils of seaweed round both ankles. Definitely an image I will remember.

In general, it is obvious that appearance is very important to Koreans, and particularly the women. The fashion is more interesting than I expected, and they dress to impress at all times of the day. The whole 'conservative' thing is also less of a big deal than I thought it would be. There are plenty of hotpants and micromini skirts going around. Oh, and the ubiquitous heels. I'm told it's more about the shoulders here, which might explain why showing a lot of leg is no big deal.

First Impressions

2009-08-17T07:56:00.000-07:00

Have broken things down into topics. Do feel free to pick and mix.

Work -
My biggest, and really only, freak out was on Monday morning when I realised I would actually have to work here. I knew I had a few days of observation first, but I had hoped to have a week or something. Basically, I did not feel ready. It took maybe 5 minutes of watching a class to remember this is just teaching, and those are just kids. Really not a big deal. After watching a range of different sorts of classes, me and the other new teacher, who has a lot of experience, were let loose in the classrooms on Thursday and Friday. Have only taught 5 lessons so far, and it will take a while before I'm totally comfortable with it, especially with the younger ones, but I know it will be fine. The school is well run, the air-conditioning is great, the kids are mostly well-behaved, and the other teachers are great. There's a general air that we're here to do a good job, not to do the minimum and get out, and I really like that.

Food -
Oh my goodness. The food. I have had some utterly delicious things to eat so far, but I have also discovered that, here at least, I am a bit of a picky eater. Not that I changed what I like to eat, it's just that the things I don't like seem to be really common. Most notably: eggs, seaweed, octopus and tofu. Turns out I don't really like spicy food here either – what they consider 'not spicy' is perfect for me! It's a bit like not being able to eat cheese in the Netherlands – it just seems like you're a bit fussy. So I will do my best. I will even try to eat some egg.

That being said, I have eaten very well – perhaps too well especially in terms of meat! Korean barbeque is awesome – 'galbi' (pork rib meat) is particularly yummy – and I'm a little obsessed with 'jjinmandu' (steamed dumplings). Tried my first bibimap (rice with lots of veggies) and Korean pancake this evening – both were excellent. And dairy free stuff is easier to find – they have lactofree and soya milk and I've even had dairy free ice-cream (though it did cost almost $10 for a pint!) Overall, while the food's not as healthy as I'd thought (there is a lot of fried meat going on) it is tasty – and cooking your dinner at the table is great fun!

Expats -
When you don't speak the local language, this is obviously key to settling in! Siji has a pretty sizeable community of expats, and everyone seems to know everyone. My co-workers are really lovely people, and have been extremely welcoming. We all went out for a leaving night for two of the teachers on Friday. I had been told before that a typical night in Korea started with food, followed by a bar, and finally a 'noraebang'. With the addition of a crappy nightclub full of foreigners to take things through til the wee hours, that is exactly how it went. For those who have not had the pleasure, a noraebang is a small room where you and your buddies sing karaoke - the main difference being that you don't have to inflict your singing on the whole bar! Definitely didn't think I would find myself belting out 'Like a Rolling Stone' with my boss at 2:45 in the morning, but I did and it was brilliant. Also didn't think I would request '500 miles' in the crappy nightclub, but I did and its a good way to find out where the Scots in the room are.

After this fabulous introduction to Korean nightlife, I went down to Busan for the weekend with a bunch of teachers from Daegu for 'Surf Fest'. Not so much a festival as a reason for a group of mates to go to the beach and hang out. Not that one needs much of a reason to do that. I realised I hadn't been to a beach (or worn a swimsuit!) since around 2005, and it was marvellously relaxing. On Saturday, we were a little more active and most of the others at least had a go at surfing, but yesterday was mainly about snoozing and Bloody Mary's. I believe there are few better ways to spend one's time.

Grog -
Can't ignore the title can I?! Well mostly the grog here is watery beer but, not being a big beer drinker back home, this probably bothers me less than it should. Obviously had a Bloody Mary yesterday, and I did accidentally bargain for a rather large dram of Jamieson on Friday night, but neither is really foreign.... The local firewater is, of course, soju. So far have only had one shot of this, and it didn't taste good, but didn't turn me into a monster or anything. I have been advised to avoid it for the first few months, which seems a little excessive, but I think I'll stick to the watery beer for now. And the cocktails in ziploc bags. Forgot about those. They were a bit mental.

Think that's enough just now. There are many more First Impressions of course - I haven't even started on the Koreans or the weather yet! - but I'm in need of some sleep on my horrible waffly sheets.

Home of the cheese heads

2009-08-10T19:35:00.000-07:00

Obviously started writing this before leaving for Daegu...

And so from the Netherlands to my parents' adopted home: Menomonie, Wisconsin. As usual, there was a lot of eating of tremendous food (highlights included beer-butt chicken, barbequed venison hind, Mexican seafood stew and, of course, the Oreos and Cap'n Crunch) and days with far too much tv. Also went on two trips in the trailer (that would be a caravan to those of you in the UK) with the parents and Chloe, their wonderfully daft 'Sheprador'. Sadly, we had to put Katy, our old Welsh border collie, down shortly before leaving. It was far from easy to say goodbye, but at 15 she'd had a good life, and travelled more than most.

First up was Wisconsin Dells – as my Dad put it “the Las Vegas of Wisconsin” - a staggeringly tacky resort town, with a high concentration of waterparks and screaming children. Unsurprisingly, we avoided this for the most part, instead taking a cruise on the Wisconsin Ducks and visiting the largest winery in Wisconsin. The Ducks really are quite strange, and noisy contraptions, used in WWII and the Korean War as amphibious transport vehicles – somehow there are still loads of these beasts about to take tourists around Wisconsin rivers and forests! Typically, this being Wisconsin and all, the tour guide is a student at the university in Menomonie, and knew my Dad. I am beginning to believe his is some kind of celebrity. The local wine was actually pretty impressive, and the setting quite idyllic. There was also time to admire the excesses of the campsite, where some of the caravans are more like houses, with landscaped gardens and golf carts which presumably saved the owners from the tiresome effort of walking to the pool.

The second trip was shorter, just a couple of days in Merrick State Park, not far from LaCrosse, WI. Mainly just chilled and enjoyed the peaceful rural surroundings, and a couple of good local coffee shops. And I got to drive my parents' vast car. Uh huh. I got to drive. Not one ding on my watch either. Though I think I did give Mom at least one heart attack (sorry Mom!)

While in Menomonie, I also, of course, spent some time in the Lakeside with Dad. The crowd has changed a little, but there were still some familiar faces, and some good chat to be had over a few whiskey and cokes, and I only stayed out too late once. Or maybe twice.... Also, despite the smoke filled atmosphere, I resisted the evil tobacco without even one cheat. My friend, Caitlin, doesn't work there anymore, but she and her husband, Eric, did take me to a barbeque at one of their friend's houses. A classic Wisconsin people-watching opportunity, with awesome food thrown in, and a chance to hang out with their baby, Jackson – pretty much the sweetest, most adorable baby around.

I think that about covers the main events of the visit. Just remains to say Thank You to Mom and Dad - I love having a second home in small town Wisconsin. Miss you both.

Arrival

2009-08-09T03:21:00.000-07:00

Finally (FINALLY!!!) arrived in Daegu last night. After so much travelling and not much sleep in the course of 30+ hours (despite the marvellous comforts of the Korean Air flight), I slept extremely well. I must say the bedding is very very odd - sort of waffly stuff that feels a bit like it was meant to be the mattress protector rather than the sheets. Aside from that, and some issues with the lights, the flat is Marvellous - nice size and well supplied (toaster AND rice cooker!) and I seem to have no trouble logging on to an unsecured wireless network - result!

Met with my new boss and a couple of the other teachers, and have been shown around the area a little. Definitely like my neighbourhood, Siji. It doesn't feel like a big city, and actually reminds me a little of the west end of Glasgow - you know the city's 'just over there', but you can pretty much do everything in your little area. And most of the teachers live within a couple of blocks of my flat. Wonderfulness.

Will post something about the time in Menomonie shortly :)

A brief stop in the Dam

2009-07-23T17:57:00.000-07:00

After the usual early morning start (why do all my trips begin with a flight that leaves before 6am??), and the miraculous checking in of 46kg of luggage without charge, I had more than 6 hours between flights in Amsterdam. What with the trains being so very Dutch, I managed to spend most of the time wandering around the city, and in just a few hours I managed to catch many classic Dutch sights, including the amazing balancing act of an entire family on one bike and tourists being nearly run down by trams and bikes. Of course I also managed to wander into one of the redlight districts. Much like the first time I went to Amsterdam, it was mid-morning and I hadn't meant to be there. Most of the windows were unoccupied, but I did see one girl dressed and in her window, flicking between channels on an ancient tv. It was also good to see the fabulously well-dressed women on their creaky ancient bikes, and peek into apartments with curtains that are never shut.

I've always been glad I lived in Utrecht for my exchange year, rather than Amsterdam, and I had mixed feelings about the various day trips there. I still think the Damrak is one of the tackiest roads ever, but Amsterdam is a great place for wandering. Watching the city wake up on a Sunday morning really suited my groggy sleep-deprived state – and the very typically Dutch sandwich and strong coffee I had in Neiuwmarkt went a long way to restoring normal function.

Overall, it was a brilliant start to the trip. And a timely reminder that, after the initial culture shock and homesickness, I really did feel at home in the Netherlands.

And so it begins....

2009-07-18T09:18:00.000-07:00

Right. So I'm not sure about the blog thing, but it saves doing group emails. Will try not to be pretentious or overly verbose.... but don't go expecting miracles. Main goal of this, other than the obvious self-indulgence of keeping a public journal, is to provide updates on my trip to Korea - and possibly beyond if I manage to maintain a sufficiently interesting lifestyle.

With regard to the name, I take no credit as it was entirely Dom's idea (thanks!) In case you are unsure as to the meaning of agog, please do look it up - and try to use it in a sentence today!

The visa finally arrived this morning - delivered by a bemused postman who didn't seem to expect 'Are you J Wright?' to elicit squealing and dancing as a response. If he'd known how long it took to get that damn visa, I'm sure he'd have understood. And, thanks to the tireless efforts of the parents (another THANK YOU!), I am off on a jetplane at a sickeningly early hour tomorrow morning, and will arrive in Menomonie just in time for dinner. I do wish I had a bit more time to sort things out, but then it's hardly a shock that a lot of things got left to the last minute. Only half a sleep left on the teeny futon before the adventure begins! Eek!

A big THANK YOU to James, Joe and Monica (in alphabetical order only!) for letting me use the teeny futon in the alcove for far longer than politeness required - I cannot say how much easier these last few weeks have been thanks to your awesomeness.

Must actually do some packing now in order to avoid horrendous excess baggage fees. Think I might dress in full winter gear - with climbing harness and helmet - not only would it save luggage weight, and be super safe, but I would start my travels looking hypercool.